We need to shut up about Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber theories, in the name of feminism

Omg, did you see Selena Gomez got married this weekend? And in the same month that Justin Bieber’s wedding to Hailey was? And she hired the same wedding planners?

So much of the conversation isn’t about Selena and Benny Blanco, but about Justin bl**dy Bieber. If I see one more TikTok about how everything Selena does is a dig at Hailey Bieber, or vice versa, I’m going to scream Our collective obsession with this Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber and Hailey Bieber love triangle isn’t just boring – it’s not good feminism. Here’s why we need to move on, for the sake of humanity.

1. Selena Gomez is more than her ex

The official line is that Justin and Selena dated for approximately two years when they were teenagers from December 2010 to November 2012, then for another four months from November 2017 to March 2018. That’s a solid seven years ago. Now, you might have got it into your head that they were secretly in love for all the time in the middle, or something. But as far as we actually know, Selena Gomez was in a relationship with Justin Bieber for less than seven per cent of her life.

Selena Gomez has accomplished a gazillion amazing things. She’s one of the most popular musicians of this century. She built a $2 billion make-up brand. Her Rare Impact Fund has raised $20 million for mental health organisations in just five years.

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A post shared by Selena Gomez (@selenagomez)

She’s the most followed woman on Instagram. She’s actually very funny in Only Murders in the Building. Really, the least interesting thing about her is who she went to IHOP with 15 years ago.

It’s 2025. Surely, we can do better than reducing amazing accomplished women to their high school flings.

2.  Selena Gomez and Hailey Bieber are actually two separate people *gasp*

Please, spare a thought for Hailey Bieber. I fear we’ve forgotten that she’s a human in her own right. People assume she and Selena must be eternally locked in a hysteria-induced jealousy blood feud over a very mediocre-looking man. But this image doesn’t really come from anything they’ve said. It comes from centuries of misogyny brainwashing us into thinking this is how women naturally behave.

“Ah,” I hear you cry, “but I saw this thread on Twitter that proved they copied each others’ clothes / PR statements about make-up / cooking videos!”

A thread of Selena Gomez copying Hailey Bieber. The receipts speak louder than words

A THREAD 🧵 pic.twitter.com/DUZTthq6MO

— pearl (@parodynyc) April 4, 2025

Selena and Hailey both own a lot of clothes and post a lot of pictures and have quite vanilla tastes in fashion. Inevitably, there will be overlap. If you turn up to a pub in jeans, do you assume the 20+ other people in jeans all conspired to take a swipe at you?

Pretty much every female celebrity sells stuff. Everyone with an internet connection made a cringey cooking video in lockdown. Maybe, just maybe, some women sometimes do some things that aren’t all about Justin Bieber.

3. You don’t know better than Selena or Hailey

What qualifies you to perform a psychological evaluation of a stranger’s marriage based on his Insta story? Underpinning the gossip is an assumption that we somehow understand Justin Bieber better than the women who actually know him.

I’m convinced anyone who wishes Selena and Justin would reunite doesn’t really want that. They’re nostalgic for the 2010s. Or, they used to fantasise about becoming Bieber’s bride, and see themselves reflected in the #relatable Selena Gomez more than in Hailey Bieber, the self-proclaimed nepo baby.

It’s time to move on, everyone. Find some new celebrity tea. Like, have you even seen Sydney Sweeney is dating Scooter Braun?

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Featured images by @selenagomez and @lilbieber.