Navy sheets and a lack of satisfaction: Just 31 things you’ll find in a fuckboy’s uni room

We’ve all had that feeling of waking up in a boy’s uni room at 8am, suffering the feeling of a broken back from sleeping on a mattress on the floor. You have nothing but regret, dread and somewhat curiosity as to what this creature actually has in his room. So, you decide to have a little wander and soon come to realise how truly gross a uni boy’s room can be.

Now, fuckboys are creatures who are known for their “top shagging” (when they actually last three seconds in bed) and their “pulling game”. You may not know you’ve hooked up with the well known uni fuckboy and thought you just got with a lovely, sweet lad after a typical Wednesday sport’s night. So, here’s everything you can find in a fuckboy’s uni room. Spot the signs before it’s too late…

1. Protein powder

I just know that there’s a 10kg tub of whey powder lingering on the shelves

2. Pubes

Wasn’t this shower white before?

3. Lack of duvet and bed sheets

They sleep like a prisoner. After a messy sport Wednesday, waking up in this uni fuckboy’s bed feels like you’re doing time.

4. Mouldy dishes

Typical. Of course they don’t see a problem with the mouldy pasta left in the corner.

5. Dirty underwear

Again….typical.

6. Another girl’s bra

This one’s a killer, but what else can you expect from the uni fuckboy?

7. Used condoms in the bin

If you’re hooking up with the uni fuckboy – DO NOT LOOK IN THE BIN. What you don’t know can’t hurt you.

8. Traffic cone

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Either they are still a silly fresher or they are a full grown man who still clings onto their first year… still an ick.

9. Crumbs on the carpet

Henry the Hoover? They only know Henry on the rugby team.

10. Film posters

You already know they’ve got a Mia Wallace Pulp Fiction poster hanging up.

11. Tissues by the bed

No. They don’t have a cold. That’s not snot.

12. Guitar

They will sing at you. LEAVE IMMEDIATELY. Panic extra if your fuckboy’s uni room has navy sheets.

13. Sports awards

They’re probably from year seven. Give it up, babe.

14. Lack of skincare

Have you ever woken up in the uni fuckboy’s bed with a face full of makeup and no Micellar Water in site? Yeah. Pain.

15. Over decorated walls

Posters of rappers (most likely Kanye West), their favourite football team and some random sign they’ve stolen from the pub. Interior design is not their calling.

16. Gaming PC set up

A fuckboy’s uni room isn’t complete without a camping set up. They’ve got the game chair, the extra monitors, the headphones. Get ready to be ignored for six hours whilst they play Call of Duty.

17. Teddy bear

Ladies do NOT fall for this. They defo brought this with them to look cute and innocent.

18. A tower of empty loo rolls?

Why do all boys do this?

19. A collection of pint glasses

Stolen from Spoons and most likely containing water that hasn’t be drank in two months.

20. Lynx

That’s it.

21. Empty beer cans

Typical

22. Pile of clothes…everywhere

There’s zero organisation.

23. No soap, no shampoo, no body wash

All they have is the three in one and a dream.

24. Their sports uniform

Definitely got their surname on the back and probs stinks of BO.

25. Lube

He’s a fuckboy, of course he only cares about sex.

26. An unmade bed

They barely have a sheet, what makes you think they will make the bed?

27. Hair gel

They still think this is what wins the ladies over.

28. Skateboard

He was a skater boy, she said see you later boy.

29. A picture of him and his ex

He swears they “broke up over a year ago”…

30. Stacked cups from the club

He thinks he’s proper cool with this collection.

31. Lack of satisfaction

It’s a fuckboy, of course he isn’t going to satisfy you in bed.