There ain’t no party like an S Club party, and this ranking of their 14 best bops proves it

S Club 7 are back. They’re doing an arena tour, Jo, Rachel and Tina are slaying the Brits red carpet in gowns, Rach is doing Mighty Hoopla and performing her solo bops to the world once again and Paul looks the spit of Pedro Pascal in The Last of Us if it was set in Skegness. I feel like I’m seven years old queuing to see Seeing Double at the Showcase Cinema all over again – and although I’m skeptical how the seven of them are going to manage to sell out an arena tour, all the S Club press had me falling Spotify rabbit hole. Here are my findings: The 13 best songs ranked to fully prove there truly is no party like an S Club party.

14. Viva La Fiesta

Ended the career of Camila Cabello before it even began – a Latin infused party that I am convinced directly inspired Caroline Polachek to drop Sunset last year. The piano is infectious, the lyrics are stupid, but the vibes are sun drenched and a pitcher of sangria.

13. You’re My Number One

A retro vibe for this one, all brassy horns and oohs, aahs and na-na-nahs. Jo’s on lead giving it big, but even that voice can’t overshadow Tina’s iconic hair in the music video that makes her look like a Lego figurine. A camp bop.

12. It’s A Feel Good Thing

An underrated one that lurks at the end of their debut album, It’s A Feel Good Thing builds on the Latin production of Viva La Fiesta with “way-ee-ay-ee-ohs” and Jo O’Meara screaming at us to run through the streets of fire.

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Particularly love the performance from the TV show where the members of S Club 7 terrify and harass passengers aboard a flight for no reason whatsoever.

11. Everybody Wants You

Another retro S Club moment from album one that would make Meghan Trainor scrap to record a version if she ever heard it – quite irresistible. S Club 7 have far too many ‘na na na’ songs but I’ll let them off because they’re just some teenyboppers from the late 90s. Annoying they didn’t go the whole hog and just call it “Everybody Wants Ya” considering that’s what they sing.

10. You

I know S Club resented this one being pushed as a single following their sound evolution for Don’t Stop Moving, and it does reek of their first album – but it kind of slaps. Sometimes evil record label management overruling pop groups does wonders, alas.

9. Two in a Million

The band’s first ever ballad is that perfect late turn of the millennium sound that simply cannot be recreated – Jo’s massive vocals at the end a huge wow as always. Perfect bop for your S Club Valentine’s Day.

8. Have You Ever

Have I ever loved and lost somebody? Yes I have, Jo – thanks for asking! It’s all a bit saccharine until the final third where she belts her tits off and we all tap our toes in sorrow.

7. Bring It All Back

It doesn’t get cheesier or more primary school disco than this still-quite-anthemic debut single, where we’re holding onto our individuality and smiling through the bullying we may be receiving. It’s charming and annoying in equal measure!

6. Never Had a Dream Come True

I love how we all consider this classic as a Christmas tune because Jo O’Meara wore a fur coat in the music video and the rest of the group look like they’ve been banished to the Bratz doll ski lodge. Nonetheless, we are of course wowing and bowing – a fan fave when it comes to the S Club songs ranked here.

5. Say Goodbye

I remember when I was a child I burst into tears at this video? I was so invested in this silly little group’s lives for some reason. This song is such a tearjerker and for what? They’re saying hello again now, anyway! It’s kind of like their Gotta Go My Own Way from High School Musical 2.

4. Reach

I literally spent my whole childhood longing for the S Club 7 bus to drive past my house and launch one of those shimmering blue sweets at me. I need to know how they tasted.

3. S Club Party

All pop groups by law should have to have a theme song exactly like this. So many amazing lyrical moments here that I’m gobsmacked by, in particular three white girls singing “Ghetto boys, make some noise!” and then the lads replying with “Hoochie mama, show your nana!” … Excuse me!

A special shout out to the greatest second verse in pop music history:

2. Don’t Stop Movin’

One of only two times S Club 7 sounded legitimately somewhat cool. Like, if this played in the club you wouldn’t necessarily think you were at your four year old nephew’s birthday party in a village hall. At least for a moment, anyway.

1. Natural

Ignore what that video thumbnail suggests to you – Natural, by far the best of all the S Club songs ranked here – is all about Rachel Stevens. Jo might have the voice, but Rachel Stevens is the group’s pop superstar. The British Britney, if she only had been given a few more albums to prove it. On Natural she goes full Spears, centre stage, and gives us a song more Britney than Britney could even record. It is pop perfection, and she leaves no crumbs.

If they consider doing just Natural for one and a half hours on their arena tour, I might buy myself a ticket.

@harrisonjbrock

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