BNOC of the year: The final

Change someone’s life forever

You voted in your thousands, and the first twelve have now been whittled down to just three. 

However, only one of these campus heavyweights can win the coveted crown of BNOC 2015.

We asked each finalist why they deserved to win, what it meant to them, and to provide a winning photo of themselves. Here’s what they said.

Robert Gordon (Norb)

“I think I should be The Tab’s BNOC of the Year because I can’t go two feet in a club without bumping into a friend. A notorious partier, I’m known for drunken antics and the parties I host, one of which resulted in that infamous letter.

“I quickly established a name for myself in Freshers Week by pulling in drag, streaking through Vanbrugh and shaving an eyebrow for Derwent block challenges.

“When not throwing shapes in Willow I’m commonly seen roaming around campus, braving the cold in Primark’s finest fluffy pyjamas and slippers.

“If I won I know it would make my parents so proud and I need to be able to give them some good news for when my results come in. Forget a firm 2:2, BNOC of the Year would be a valuable addition to the CV. I’m also hoping the award might help me in my pursuit of love (that’s right ladies, I’m single).”

Thomas Ron (Tron)

“I should be BNOC of the Year, because as said by YikYak I can slam a revolving door, I stop at red lights in GTA, and I can look a basilisk in the eye.

“Plus, I’ll have my face on the back of a bus, so if you get run over, the last thing you see will be me.

“Winning BNOC of the Year would be the nicest thing to happen since winning Academic Officer and would distract from the horror show that are my exams.”

Tom A-C

“I should win, because it’s not like I have much going for me; I’m half bald, banned from Salvation, have shit tattoos, hated by YUSU, hated by half the University, pitied by the other half, I’m closer to 30 than I am to 20 and still don’t have a degree, didn’t become YUSU President, dropped from the hockey team, dumped by my girlfriend and it’s not like any other girl will go for me.

“I literally have nothing going for me so I would like this. Who knows, if I win maybe my parents will start to love me, it’s a dream. It would look great on my CV next to “full time Facebook creep” and “full time virgin”.

“Let me find a photo…here’s a throwback to that time I saved a dog from drowning in the middle of the Atlantic, swam 100 miles there and 100 back.”

Who wins? You decide.