You Are What You Wear: Warwick Fashion Stereotypes

Fashion is a fickle thing. It’s our way of expressing who we are, but too often it seems we become defined by what we wear.

They say you can’t judge a book by its cover but you probably can judge a Warwick student by the level of care they put into their packaging.

Here is an attempt to create a definitive profile of the average spectrum of Warwick students, according to subjects and the clothes they happen to be wearing on any given day. Warning, sweeping generalisations are a given:

The Maths and/or Sciences Student:

Mathematicians and scientists are too busy studying everything about the universe to have time for such trivial things such as fashion, and are dressed as such. They can usually be spotted by their propensity for warm, practical, easy-to-wash fabrics. Generally only ever found in a colour palette of grey, black, navy blue and occasional pops of primary colours, because it’s all they trust and understand.

Their outfit is often completed with a waterproof jacket, probably from a shop that also sells portable stoves.

The more daring among them may dare slip on a T-shirt saying something like “Calculus: yes it is rocket science”. Jeans if they’re really making an effort. Basically, you’d give their outfit as much attention as you would a tax disc.

But if you can find one not sporting the almost ubiquitous fleece and/or hoodie, notify the press, stop the clocks, and consider marrying them (job prospects AND fashion sense, hello…).

A classic, if somewhat dull, look.

Economics, PPE, Accountancy, etc (they’re all the same):

Leavers hoodies from expensive schools named after saints or royalty, are this tribe’s uniform of choice. That, or they look like they’re constantly dressed for a job interview.

This usually consists of pink stripy shirts and chinos, probably stained with some of last night’s bottle of Bollinger.

These are the people swaggering about wearing anything with a label. Nothing says “all I want to do is earn a shitload of money” more than spending fifty quid on a top that probably cost £5 to make. That’s economics, that is.

You’re guaranteed to see this rainbow of coloured chinos on any given day at Warwick.

The Sports aficionado:

Sports kit. All day every day. Even on days when no sport is being played.  Even in Smack. With big white letters on their backs signifying something only people who know sports can decipher. UWHGJFYSTBA WAH?

And there’s always that one who flaunts a vest in all seasons, showing off biceps that just scream protein shakes and late night sessions at the gym.

‘Just in case you weren’t aware… I LIFT.’

L’étudiant de Humanities:

Thus we arrive at the oh-so-kitsch, floral, probably vintage doors of those whose only hope post-graduation relies on their parents keeping open a spare room.

You can always tell someone has far too much time on their hands when they are impeccably well dressed.

Someone studying an arts subject can usually be spotted from as far away as Westwood; a rhapsody in cable knits, collars and multicoloured tights; floral dresses burning patterns into weary eyes.

The cravat wearing, tweed drenched arts boys appear with their dickie bows and women’s trousers; all in the name of irony, of course. Some of the really cool ones might be disguised in band T-shirts.

If anyone wants to look like the type of person who drops something about postmodernism into everyday conversation, then it’s Barbour jackets and turned-up trousers and brogues and thick framed glasses that may or may not be needed to see the pretentious books we have to read for our degree.

Only pictures from a disposable or Instagrammed to shit will do for humanities students.

You may think you are too deep and complex to be defined solely by your outer appearance, but we know better. Your clothing on campus will define you and your degree, but why be offended? Some people wear three-piece suits to lectures. Some arrive in onesies. Leave it to the h8rs to judge.