Oxford’s edgiest undergrad: Heat three
Aren’t we all just a speck of dust travelling through space?
Ben Warren, English, Wadham
He goes to Wadham – the edgiest college. He wears leather dungarees – going for the S&M farmer look. He’s all edge that he doesn’t have a centre – he’s so far ahead of the curve that you’d need to use a logarithmic scale to identify him on the graph.
Arran Elocate, History, St. John’s
With his flowing locks, violently wavy shirts and penchant for some of the most esoteric musical genres, this charismatic young man is perpetually mistaken for a member of the French aristocracy during his permanent residency in Cellar.
Matt Roberts, Ancient & Modern History, Keble
Matthew is all edge, like a razor blade in a particularly sharp packet of Doritos. In between attending slam poetry performances and listening to Ukrainian industrial fuck-techno, Matt likes to hang out in abattoirs and discuss Weber. At the tender age of eight he could already recite Gil Scott-Heron’s entire discography, backwards. Nowadays you’ll find Matthew in Freud’s bar, sipping on a 2008 Châtillon-en-Diois, which he’ll inform you is made from a minimum of 75 per cent Gamay blended with Pinot Noir and Syrah. Approach him with caution, but get chatting and you’ll find that deep down he’s just like the rest of us – a sexually frustrated Beyonce fan who wishes they were at Lola Lo’s.
Voting will open next week. If you’d like to nominate someone to be Oxford’s edgiest undergrad send them to [email protected] or The Tab Oxford Facebook page.