A definitive ranking of the best nightclub smoking areas in Notts

Stealth is definitely the best, fight me

Smoking areas are an essential part of any night out. Whether it’s to have an embarrassing drunk conversation that you will certainly regret in the morning, get some fresh air after being rammed from all angles on the dance floor, or to find a potential husband, it’s a must.

What a story to tell the kids: your mum begged me for a Sterling Dual and it was love at first sight.

While most smoking areas are decent, there is one all important question: which Nottingham nightclub smoking area is the best?

Unit 13 – 1/10

No. Just no. I am not a fan.

The Unit 13 smoking area is the same area where you queue to get into the club. Being in such close proximity to it at 2am whilst you’re smashed off your head on Jägers and vodka lemonades isn’t a good combination.

Due to its exposed nature, I always feel judged by the proper adults walking around on the other side of the road. Overall, its a no from me Unit 13. I don’t feel capable of wasting away my night talking to strangers here, it’s more of a “quick four puffs then go” type of area for me.

warning: you will see about 20 girls in this nii haii top

Rock City – 10/10

Rock City is of course a solid 10/10. The memories made in the smoking area here are ones I will recall for the rest of my life, whether for good or bad reasons.

  • Good dance floor? Check.
  • Many bars? Check.
  • Decent size smoking area? CHECK.
  • Best atmosphere? CHECKCHECKCHECK.

Despite the fact that it feels like the entire population of Notts is in the smoking area at the same time, this place has ample opportunity for any type of experience.

Not only have I met some of my old primary school friends here and reunited with them like we were in a heartfelt movie, but I have also been exposed to some football chanting that I seem to always join in on, even though I have no idea what it is they are shouting about. It’s all part of the experience.

Rock City has the best chances of meeting somebody who is nice enough to lend you their lighter. I feel like I can let my true drunk state shine here without the fear I might get kicked out.

Pryzm – 7/10

A night out at Pryzm seems to always go well. The smoking area has easy access and has enough space for everyone, even on student nights. There are a limited amount of seats but these are generally filled with various “rah where’s my baccy” girls, however, they always seem to lend you a cig.

A big downside is there is barely any form of cover. If it rains, you are getting absolutely drenched – worth it for a blem. The the only issue that I have with Pryzm, there’s nothing exceptionally different about it- nothing that makes me think this place deserves more or less attention then all the others.

NG-ONE – 5.5/10

NG-ONE has its good and bad days. This smoking area has benches, an actual object made to be sat down on in an outdoor space. Finally, I don’t face the risk of being trampled on whilst risking a sit down on the cold, wet floor.

I think if we’re spending a Friday night at NG-ONE it’s because we couldn’t get tickets elsewhere. You’re definitely gonna see the person you snogged on the dance floor in the smoking area though, so be ready for that. Someone will definitely let you borrow a cig here. If you’re lucky, they might give you the whole pack.

Stealth/Rescue Rooms – 1000/10

Stealth’s smoking area is without argument, the best of the best. Heaters, lots of seating and nothing but good vibes. Often packed with what feels like the entire club, but everyone is happy as they are not freezing to death.

Stealth smoking area can do no wrong in my eyes, personally I would see it as a potential venue for my wedding day.

Lads on tour

Shapes – 7/10

Whilst the area itself looks like the back end of an alley and trying to find it is next to impossible, it makes up for it with the impeccable energy.

In no other smoking area have I found such friendly people, nor have I witnessed such an ecstatic fresher crowd surfing. What it lacks in basic smoking area equipment, it makes up for in its unmatched energy.

The Bodega – 9/10

Bodega’s Indie Wednesdays night is saved with its lovely smoking area. Cute decorations, nice picnic bench tables, it has a kind of pub garden vibe to it. The smokers who dwell here are Arctic Monkeys listeners, who wear Doc Martens and fishnets or Hawaiian shirts non-ironically to the club.

One month (pre-pandemic) I witnessed somebody lick half a pint of beer off of the floor, and it was an experience to say the least.

friends 4ever

Honorable Mention: Coco Tang – 10/10

Whilst this is not a clubbing venue, rather a bar with a small dance floor, its beautiful smoking area deserves a mention. In no other smoking area have I seen artwork and little table and chairs as though you were sat in a cafe on the streets of Paris.

In this smoking area, you don’t feel like a dirty smoker, but rather an educated intellect who is having an important discussion with their peers.

coco tang

Perfect Insta location

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