The eight type of guys you’re guaranteed to get with during your first term in Notts

Big regrets you silly fresher

The first term of uni for most people is one filled with poor decisions left, right, and centre. Whether that be finances, what you have to eat, or deciding you’re going to sack off studying in favour of partying like there’s no tomorrow, we’ve all been there.

But while many of these mistakes are easily cleared from the mind, there’s the likelihood there might have been a certain someone that you’d rather have the slate wiped clean with.

1. The softie

Aw, he’s so sweet! Look at how he lounges around the house in his soft jumpers and a bowl of cereal. With that fluffy hair and the way he listens, he’s essentially a golden retriever.

He doesn’t go out much but when he does he can be found at Ocean singing along to High School Musical. Unlike the sports boys though, he doesn’t take his top off during Baywatch as he’s too self-conscious.

He might not be the cleverest one of the bunch, but you don’t really mind because venting to him is always so easy. He tries his best in everything he does and is always modest of his achievements, a real keeper for sure. Chances are he’s good with kids, too.

#1 fanboy

2. The devil in disguise

So this one is a little unhinged. He’s really hot but when I say ‘the devil’ it’s because you have essentially sold your soul in order to access that appeal. This is the sort of guy who finds pleasure in chaos.

It wouldn’t be too far-fetched to see him feeding his pre-workout (oh, yeah, he spends half his time at the David Ross sports village) to the geese at University Park Campus, just to watch the unfortunate individual who thought they’d feed the birds for the day get savaged for their starchy spoils.

Deep down though, this one’s alright, weirdly comforting and surprisingly good at cooking. But probably not the best long term.

3. The sportsman always wearing player layer

Right this guy you only got him for one of two reasons: a) you love the hunk, or b) you want to be a sports power couple.

He paid for his sports jersey and he is never taking it off as he needs everyone to know he plays IMF Rugby (he didnt make the big leagues though, awks).

Don’t get me wrong, this man will still want to beat you at any sort of contest, but he might let you win once or twice to make you smile. If you can put up with how often he goes to training, he’s defo a keeper.

4. The wannabe road man

On one hand you’ve got a lad who glorifies unlawfulness and some quite deplorable things, but on the other you’ve just got some lad in a trackie who is maybe a bit misunderstood.

Look, I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt for the article so here’s an unbiased assessment: he probably owns a lot of branded stuff, but there’s also the chance that could all be fake. He likes grime and there’s the chance he could own a set of decks, but you’ve heard his bars, and to be frank, they’re a bit naff.

He might threaten violence and carry a knife, but really, deep down, he doesn’t enjoy the idea of hurting anyone. This one might need a mentor to be honest, but trust me – you can fix him.

He might look hard, but we know he’s scared of being scolded by Mummy.

4. The indie boy

Let me guess, you both like the Smiths? Yes, I too have seen Perks of being a Wallflower. Usually found at Bodega’s Indie Wednesdays, you bonded over similar interests, mostly to do with music, film, and TV, and he’s actually quite a nice guy too.

He’s got a fairly limited clothing selection, which is usually reduced to band shirts and flannels paired with any number of pairs of skinny jeans. He might have a hobby or two which you find quite endearing, such as playing guitar or writing poetry, but he’ll never show you his work in those respected fields because he’s too scared he’ll make a mistake.

Be careful how you treat this one, though, as he won’t stop writing little songs about you for months after you break his heart – a modern age Morrisey.

His favourite movie is definitely pulp fiction

6. The plain one

Who ever said plain had to be boring? I love this guy, he’s so easy to like and so hard to hate. Great fun at parties and a perfect mate.

As Huey Lewis & the News said: “It’s hip to be square!”. But square he is not, under that fast fashion and pop music is an individual who has a strange amount of substance and people are often taken aback when he comes out with a very insightful comment on current affairs.

He definitely enjoys watching the footy with a pint at Sheaves, just the way the universe intended. He’s a keeper for sure.

7. The man child

You probably view yourself as a caregiver if this is the kind of lad you’re getting with. Unhinged in a completely opposite manner, this goblin will eat all your food, drink all your drinks, and if given the opportunity, would pick a fight with a religious figure.

Still, there are times he can be tamed, and dare I say ‘nice’, but you view your relationship to be more one of mentorship, guidance, and ultimately damage control. You know you’re not going to be with him long term, but you hope that by the time it’s over you can say he now at least knows how to tie his shoes.

8. The father figure

Y’know, sometimes the only thing someone wants is someone who’ll be there to fix the issues that you can’t fix yourself. This is that person, just someone you can rely on, whatever it might be.

He usually dresses overly casually – as in, this man will fully turn up to a fine-dining restaurant in trainers (unless you prompt him to wear dress shoes), but doesn’t mind because he finds a certain article of clothing either ‘comfy’ or ‘useful’.

Chances are he has a cool moustache, owns at least two caps, likes kicking back with a cold beer, and listens to classic rock. So, if this is the man you’re after, even if clubbing ‘isn’t quite for him’, Rock City on a Saturday is where you’ll find him letting loose to Bowie and Queen. A sound and sturdy choice.

Related articles recommended by this author:

• There are only six types of boys in Nottingham, which are you?

• Every type of guy you’ll see on Tinder during lockdown in Notts

• Everything you learn from living in an all-boys uni house