‘Maximum 10 people at Fallowfield house parties’ declare MPs
Killjoy MPs have revealed new regulations on house parties, announcing as of today Fallowfield “house parties” of more than ten people will be shut down.
Following the succession of house parties getting shut down by police, MPs planned to debate the future of our fun in Parliament back in December.
Now the party pooper politicians are attempting to ban our legendary parties altogether by limiting the number of revellers to just 10 at a time.
The heartbreaking news was delivered to Fallowfield residents in a letter yesterday, declaring that “any student residencies found with numbers exceeding 10 will be taken seriously, and punished accordingly.”
The letter, sent by Railf Spool, also read that “police patrols will increase at the weekend to combat the antisocial behaviour”.
The regulations are causing travesty among students; second year Amherst Road resident Lucy told The Tab: “This is an absolute joke.
“There’s 10 people living in my house, so what now? We’re not allowed any visitors?”
Commenting on the madness, third year medic Josh said: “What the fuck? Surely this is a breach of my human rights.”
The main defence for the limitations follows the arrest of two “rowdy” students at a 400 person party on Amherst Road in November, where MPs suggested that the police wouldn’t have had to make the arrests if the numbers were lower.
Before you send an angry email to your MP, check the calendar…