What does your area of London say about you?

In first year it’s all fun and games – you live close to uni, with all your friends, and you have a weekly cleaner. If you had an ensuite you were full on living the dream. But then second year reared its ugly head, you actually had to move more than five minutes from uni. Considering the dangers of choosing the flat in a city you barely know, it’s important to show which areas you’re likely to live in as a student, and what it says about you.

Camden

The only people who thinks Camden is cool are tourists. Maybe it was cool in the glory days of punk and indie, but nowadays it’s just a bit dirty and grim. People who live here spend a lot of their time taking pictures of the signs of Camden Lock and trying to flex on their friends who go to non-London universities to try and make themselves feel better about how much money they just spent on a pint.

The majority of people who live here do so out of convenience. Tubes and buses are pretty great, and it’s close enough that you could walk to uni if you wanted to. You drink in the Camden Head, listen to indie music you call “new” and “edgy” even though it’s UK Top 40, and talk about ANTIC’s at KOKO a lot. You’ll end your nights at the Elephant’s Head spending £5 on a pint, but we’re all secretly jealous of you really.

Kentish Town

Camden’s more boring brother. You live here because it’s slightly cheaper and slightly less dirty. You have a weird superiority complex about living here, but no one knows why because no one in the history of London has said that they think Kentish Town is a cool place to live.

Kentish Town is like Camden, but without the tragic “we used to be cool” vibe so it’s less depressing. It’s a mix of students, middle class homeowners and families who should really just move to High Barnet. If you live here you’re just a bit boring (just like the area) and spend most of your time going into Camden to try and have fun.

Holloway/Archway

Your flat is super cheap and you probably have a garden and more than two bathrooms. For this you’re very smug. But it’s so far away you end up trekking to your friend’s flats nearer uni. It’s almost admirable that you made the conscious decision to live on the last stop of Zone 2.

Bloomsbury

Mummy and Daddy paid your rent and you don’t mind admitting it. Unlike those in West London, you’re slightly less annoying about how much money you have, and you’re more committed to your education because you consciously chose to live within 10 minutes walking of all uni amenities. Frankly we’re all jealous of you and don’t mind saying it.

Shoreditch 

Those native to Shoreditch greet you not with “Hello,” but with “Do you have any filters?”

Shoreditch is the land of bankers and hipsters, and you chose to live in an extremely inconvenient and expensive location just to flex that they live there. You go to Columbia Flower Market every Sunday and Instagram pics of you and a huge and unnecessary plant, constantly try to drag people to XOYO or Dalston Superstore, and spend a lot of time on the tube going to people’s houses in more studenty parts of the city.

Euston

You live in a high rise and your flat is tiny, mouldy, damp and dark. It’s depressing. You spend lots of your time telling people how central you live, but really you’ve just knocked a couple of years off your life from the fumes wafting over from Euston Road.

Probably do a science degree and want to live close enough to uni so you can walk in every day, but really it’s just a bit bland.

West London

You live on a trust fund, Daddy definitely brought you a Fiat 500 when you passed your driving test, and you just spent 5+ years at boarding school. It’s a no brainer to live in West. “Budget” isn’t in your vocabulary!

It’s really not student-friendly, so it’s pretty obvious you just want to live there to live out some Made in Cheese dream. You wear lots of white Ralphie, drink expresso martinis and champagne, and always have a Barbour jacket at the ready. You don’t really care about your degree because you have trust funds to finance your Mykonos holidays, you take Uber Exec’s back after a night out with no shame, and your biggest life aspiration is to appear in Tatler.

Dalston

You didn’t live in Camden because it’s populated by stalls selling knock off t-shirts and memorabilia – it’s just not cool enough for you. So instead you decided to shake it up and move on over to Dalston because it’s cool to say you live in East London and like the good music venues.

South London

If you go to UCL and live in South London, you probably live in London. You’re always tired and always slightly sweaty because you spend more time commuting to Uni than you do in Uni. They’d stay and have a drink, but their parents want them home for dinner and it’ll take them an hour and a half to get back.