Let’s be real, without pigs in blankets Christmas would be shit

We all look forward to opening presents on Christmas day, and seeing our loved ones too, its what the holidays are all about. Forget the Queen’s speech, Pigs in Blankets are the Christmas day treat that we all look forward to. If you say that the highlight of Christmas is anything other than scoffing Pigs in Blankets, you're not only lying to yourself, you're embarrassing everyone who you associate with.

I know what my money's on

Of course, its not all rainbows and butterflies. In my experience, Pigs in Blankets are the source of most arguments on Christmas day, followed closely by what the hell we're watching on TV (if I have to watch another Eastenders Christmas special I may put a bullet in my brain).

Despite the nation's ardent adoration for these bundles of joy, we've learned that sausages can cause quite the controversy around Christmas. For example, Greggs recently released an advent calendar for Christmas this year, and they received some backlash for replacing baby Jesus with a sausage roll. Personally, I think they're missed a trick. Maybe if they'd used a Pig in a Blanket instead they would have got away with it. After all, Pigs in Blankets are the closest thing we'll get to God in this life.

Maybe we should start a petition to make it acceptable to stuff our faces with these glorious bundles of joy all year round, because every year I find myself counting down the days until those little piggies hit the shelves once more.

O lowly sausage wrapped in bacon, smelling so sweet, my tasty little treat. As I step into the kitchen, your scent fills my head, my senses tingle with anticipation of your sweet, tender love. You set my heart on fire, my longing for you never ceases in its burning intensity. Tiny cocktail sausage, cosy in the juicy warmth of the bacon strip, the centrepiece of the Christmas feast, we love you.