All the reasons Valentine’s Day is better when you’re single

Single and ready to cry alone in my room

Valentine’s Day: as if Christmas and Halloween didn’t give us enough over-hyped, over-advertised holidays to last the year. Whether you’ll be uploading a pic of your new Pandora ring with the caption ‘#boydidgood’, or sobbing into a pint of Ben & Jerry’s on this fine day, it cannot be denied that Valentine’s Day is far better for the unattached. I’m not saying that we have more fun without the weight of gift expectations and restaurant reservations hanging over us, but we do.

Shame-free chocolate binges

We’ve all been there. It’s half one in the morning, Netflix has just asked if you’re sure you want to keep watching Stranger Things (it has been five hours, maybe you should open a textbook or solve an equation or something), and you can practically smell the Curly Wurly you’re going to buy at Sainsbury’s. The problem? This is your third late night trip this week, and it’s only Wednesday; you greet the checkout staff with the ease of a snacking veteran, but wear the expression of a shameful gym-avoider. On Valentine’s Day, however, you can buy as much chocolate as you like. In fact, you can start hoarding two weeks in advance and as long as you stick with the heart-shaped, frilly variety everyone will be none the wiser. Curl up in bed and continue to worry more about Barb’s whereabouts than your expanding waistline. Which brings me to my next point…

Nobody to impress

So you gained a little extra Christmas weight, or you haven’t shaved your legs in a few months and are starting to look somewhat like the Gruffalo. Sometimes the pressures of beauty standards can all get too much, but no bae means no problems. If you really want, you can treat Valentine’s as a normal weekday, and head off to your ten AM in that same stained-jumper-and-three-day-unwashed-hair combo that we all know and love. It’s not like you’re incapable of making an effort, it’s just that you thrive off the looks of shock your coursemates wear when they see you sporting a full face of make-up and a Missguided jumpsuit, busting out your best moves on the HiFi dancefloor. Better yet: you’re doing it for yourself, not because you’ve been with Jim for two months and you think he’d quite like it.

Can’t even sneak down to Tesco’s without being bombarded

Desperate nights out

If you can get around the mortification of attending a Valentine’s themed night out, round up a gang of equally single mates, and get drunk enough to have a good time, but not so drunk that you cry over every single one of your exes, you’ll probably make a good time of it. The decorations might be a bit cringe, and the drinks are unlikely to be any cheaper than they are on the thirteenth and fifteenth of the month, yet it’s surely a better option than sitting in your room with a fat Domino’s Facetiming your cat. Plus, everyone’s out for the same reason – the loneliness is palpable and it basically guarantees that you’ll pull.

More money for The Sesh

It’s been a hard few post-exam weeks; I don’t know anyone that isn’t slipping further into their overdraft by the day. In a city like Leeds, where almost every decent night out requires a ticket that will set you back anywhere between five and fifteen quid before you’ve even got into the club, Valentine’s Day just doesn’t seem like intelligent budgeting. I’m not saying your significant other isn’t worth it, but with 1 in 10 men shelling out over seventy-five pounds on gifts, cards and carefully planned dates, I can’t help but wonder if maybe the ultimate benefit of being single on Valentine’s is the amount of money it saves. Although, if you’re as partial to LUSH’s holiday ranges as I am, this logic might fall through. It’s a nice thought.

Why smell like prosecco when you could just down a bottle

 Galentine’s > Valentine’s

The most important reason of them all. Prove that you don’t need no man and show your girls some love this February. They’ve definitely been with you through thick and thin over the past year, and it’s only right that you celebrate their unfailing commitment. Where was Nick from your Tuesday morning tutorial when you had one too many sambuca shots at Canal Mills and tried to embark on the two-mile trek home at four AM? In bed, probably. Definitely not forcing you into an Uber that he paid for. Your friends, however, have held your hair through every projectile vomit, are always available for a group stalking session of his potential girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend’s best friend’s cousin, and only complain a little when you make them take six twenty-shot fake-candid bursts during pres, only for you to select two of them and delete the rest. It’s chicks before dicks, sisters over misters, and you should embrace how much time with your gals the single life provides.

I’d rather cuddle Katie anyway