Give it a Rest

Ah, Lent. The season of self-restraint and self-denial.

Or, as so many of the skinny hipster chicks at this university see it, the month long period in which to starve yourself even more than usual and not have anyone give you shit over it. ‘It’s Lent mate, I was raised a Catholic – get the guilt if I don’t do it, don’t I?’ If you say so. I’m sure you also felt the guilt last week as you gyrated, semi-naked, on the shot bar at Tequila, didn’t you?

Lent, in this respect, is much like Hallowe’en; a chance to behave completely irrationally with absolutely no repercussions. As wisely stated by Cady Heron in the cult classic ‘Mean Girls’: “Hallowe’en is the one night a year when a girl can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it”. Oh, so you want to give up EVERY carbohydrate based food this Lent? Excellent, great call. Align that with your 10 hour a week gym habit, and you’re looking at fainting fits and possible head injuries. But it’s okay, you’ll have that bikini bod ready by Easter…which as we all know is at a really hot time of year where we live in our swimwear 24/7.

Oh, wait, hang on…

Just a few small sacrifices in the name of Christ… and my bikini bod

Actually, I’m totally wrong; I’ve just checked my handy copy of the Good News Bible, and look at what I’ve found! ‘So Jesus said to himself, “What I’ll do is, be tempted to the limits of human understanding for a month or so, in order that, 2000 years from now, a huge number of Western girls can exacerbate their already exceedingly prevalent eating disorders and they’ll just claim they’re doing it in memory of what a cracking bloke I am. Also, male hipsters in isolated communities of Williamsburg NY, Chalk Farm and Leeds will copy my beard.”’ Matthew 4: 1-11

EdgyGirl gives up her ultimate vice for 40 long days

Here’s an idea, oh ye emaciated of campus (especially you, Storm Jameson puritans); take something up. Maintain a balanced and varied diet, indulge a little, but go to an extra gym class a week. Walk to town rather than getting an Amber Car. Maybe join a society; learn Spanish like you’ve always wanted to. Or, alternatively, give up something feasible, like chocolate. Wine. Union Shop pick ‘n’ mix. Not “anything with sugar in, going to be sooooo hard (omg omg I’m going to be Slim Shady by Good Friday, hail Mary etc.).”

But hey, what do I know? I’m on a raw food diet for Lent.

See you on the treadmill.