Hey guys, I don’t have instagram, but for those of you who don’t know me, I had marmite and toast for breakfast today! A small warning for those of you […]
Hey guys, I don’t have instagram, but for those of you who don’t know me, I had marmite and toast for breakfast today!
A small warning for those of you who intend to read further, if you use instagram, the chances are all of this applies to you. This is the therapeutic session my student loan won’t stretch to pay for, and so my rant begins…
Each one of you is out there, taking ‘vintage’ photos, clogging up my news feed, and ultimately, ruining my day.
Right now, I’m considering buying food just to take photos of it, wait for a sunset that no one else in the world can see and jump into a bubble bath to take a quick snap of my soapy legs.
Oh wait, I’m hip and I’m artistic if I take a photo of my cat. I cannot stand, nor will I tolerate lightly, how instagram has officially dominated my social networking life.
And may I remind you, a thousand likes does not make a good photo. Of course I’ll ‘like’ your photo of a sandwich, I am an avid lover of sandwiches (literally the best thing we could get from sliced bread), but I promise your photo is nothing special. I’ve got this new instagram app, its name is Photoshop and it’s got a special filter called dignity.
This could be jealousy. I am one of those old-school people who still have a Nokia. It’s made of strong stuff. I’ve had the same phone for 6 years now, so seriously, I do not need a filter to make my photos vintage. I already have far too many vintage photos stored on my phone, none of which are ever going to be made public domain.
I can guarantee in 1,000 years humanity will look back at our photos, and wonder why life was sepia toned back in the 21st century. And why everyone went through a phase of cutting the corners off their photo, blasting the contrast and thinking this looked worthy of posting globally.
For the record, if you use instagram, I will judge you.