What to expect from a night at Creme Soda

The clue is in the name, lots of drinks

If you haven’t heard of Creme Soda by now, you’re either 65 year old mature student who’s idea of a wild night is playing bingo till 8pm and falling asleep while watching Countryfile, or you’re a work-a-holic cyborg sent from a martian race whose soul purpose is to get a first and make everyone else feel bad about themselves.

For the rest of us, despite the fact that the night is named after a drink even your grandad thinks is outdated, Creme Soda has quickly become one of the most popular student nights in Edinburgh. Although it has become such a big name in the Edinburgh night life scene, it has only been open for a year and was set up by Edinburgh students themselves.

So if you’re one of the few who’s never been and can possibly tear yourself away from chapter three of you aeronautical engineering textbook (I’m sure it’s a fucking page turner), you might be wondering what to expect. Have no fear, being well on my way to a 2:2 and a second overdraft, I’m more than experienced enough to show you the ropes.

So what can you expect from Creme Soda?

The Queue

Queueing, the great British past time

Whilst Creme Soda might be a big night out, the club itself isn’t huge, which means there’s inevitably going to be a bit of a queue. If you’re a George Street veteran you’ll know the feeling of standing in the freezing Edinburgh cold all too well and this can certainly be the case at Creme Soda, especially for some of the big nights.

Having said that, it never gets to the levels of queueing where you queue for so long and get so cold you forget why you’re even there, or why you didn’t pick Bristol as your first choice like the true southern fairy you are. But still, if you plan to swan in at 11.30 like everyone and their mother, be prepared – if you want my advice, make sure you get your beer jacket on.

The Drinks

Unlike these guys, most of us have enough self respect and a serious lack of funding to splash out on a bottle of Belvedere every week, because who really wants to be spending £60 on something you’ll barely remember in the morning?

Luckily enough for us mere mortals, Creme Soda is dangerously on the cheap side. I’d love to give you a detailed run down of how expensive it all is, but my hazy recollections of there being £4 doubles is a good indicator as any that unless you’ve rocked up with Scrooge himself, you’re going to be getting the drinks in .

The Music

Let’s be honest, you’re not going to any club like Creme Soda for the best musical experience of your life, so if you’re looking for something edgy and underground you’ve probably already guessed that Creme Soda isn’t the place for you. Having said that, the DJs there do put the work in and actually play a serious variety of crowd pleasers, ranging from old school garage tunes that remind you of sitting at the back of the bus in year 8, to classic disco hits – and of course some Justin Bieber. For me, Justin Bieber kind of reminds me of a creepy uncle, he seems to worm his way into every family event, you’re not sure why he’s not in jail, or why everyone likes him.

The Smoking Area

Probably the one seriously irritating thing about this club is the smoking area, to put it simply, it can get a little bit crowded. As much as I enjoy having my face pressed up some sweaty guy’s back, most of the time, I’d save that cig for later and just get another drink.

The Freebies

Who doesn’t like free shit? No one. Creme Soda for some reason loves giving away anything and everything with their name on it, it’s marketing on steroids. You name it, sweets, jumpers, T-shirts, even lighters. This is a game changer for mid club munch or if you’ve got a mate who is a serial lighter stealer (there’s always one and if you don’t know who it is, it’s probably you). I mean who doesn’t want a jumper you’ll wear once and then instantly forget about ? (still though … free stuff)

There is true happiness in a picture, freebies

The Tweed Wankers

For some reason every time I’ve ever been to Creme Soda there’s a load of people who think it’s acceptable to rock up in a suit, It still puzzles me to this day. I think government should be working on this like it’s the cure for cancer – forget the meaning of life, these are the real questions in life. Do they find it comfy? Do they think they look sick? How do they not overheat and dissolve into one giant sweat patch, sinking into the floor like the evil witch from Wizard of Oz?

If you’re not drunk enough to be asking yourself these questions at McDonalds down the road at 3am, you really haven’t done Creme Soda any justice.

Photography Credits – David Wilkinson // EMPIRICAL