All the kinds of people you will find in Opal Saturdays

The creepy one, the models, the spotters… which one are you?

Whether you are a fresher, or you’ve been living in Edinburgh for the past three years, you have probably already noticed that Opal is one of the best clubs in Edinburgh. The latest tunes spread over two rooms, exclusive drinks, and a great atmosphere to enjoy on a free Saturday night.

Even though most of us go there to have a fun night out and cannot be distinguished from the crowd, there are some regulars who are easy to spot, and it’s sometimes better to be prepared for them.

The spotters

Normally a group of four to five girls, who move around the dance floor to follow that one crush that was spotted at the beginning of the night. Extremely obvious and constantly self-conscious, they won’t stop until that one guy talks to a member of their clique.

The creepy one

Usually there all by himself, trying to make a new friend he can go home with. Will chase, follow you and try to interact with you an infinite number of times, even after he has been told to fuck off in three different languages.

The wet one

They started the night with an impeccable shirt but as the number of drinks escalated, he has become proportionally wet. What was an All Saints white shirt has now become a soaking piece of clothing, with a mixture of sweat and spilled colourful drinks of unknown precedence.

The get-a-room couple

Envied by the single ones and hated by mostly everyone. Comments like “can’t they just go do this somewhere else?” or “get a room” can usually be heard around them. If you are one of them, abstain from doing it on the dance floor please.

The rich one

He will hire a table for 10 but will later find it hard to find enough people willing to go with him, so will just distribute free drinks from a gigantic bottle of Grey Goose Vodka around the club. You probably want to stay close to him if you’re on a tight budget.

Ball boys

By ball boys, I don’t mean anything sports-related. They usually wear formal attire, such as kilts, and have spent their evening getting drunk at the Balmoral Hotel in some kind of society ball. They flood the dance floor in groups of at least 15 and can never be missed. Make sure you ask about what’s under their kilt…

The professional dancers

After a couple of drinks, in pairs or alone, these people decide to try their moves that they have been practicing all week at a dancing society, not caring about anyone else on the dance floor and pushing their way around until they annoy at least 10 people.

The too drunk to function

Lost all contact with friends whatsoever a couple of hours ago and are just lone wanderers. Not dangerous if kept within a proper distance, sometimes funny, but mostly will end up their night in a toilet and not remembering anything the next morning.

The fit ones

They spent two hours doing makeup, another two fixing their hairs and probably at least one picking their outfits. Tall, skinny and drawing all the attention, will make eye contact with every guy in the club but leave alone night after night. University boys? They are too good for that.

The rest of us

We’re just there to have a good time, spend some (lots of) money on drinks, and dance our nights away.


Images from Opal Saturdays Facebook Page.