My first week in Pollock: the diary of a fresher

I ended my first ever night in Edinburgh in Hive


I’ve collected four wristbands for club nights I do not want to go to, eaten my body weight in Dominoes, signed up for a Turkish airlines newsletter and got a new body building t-shirt to sleep in.

Sunday:

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Antics

I arrived to Baird Hall on the Sunday with my mum and as everyone had been at the Big Cheese the night before, I was quite apprehensive because it felt as if everyone already knew each other. In a desperate bid to make friends my small talk included: “was it you who was playing the loud music earlier?” which made them think I was someone who would constantly put in noise complaints and “do you play squash?” to which we both just replied no and it went silent.

The evening started with the awkward common room drinks and socialising but swiftly moved on to the Peartree, a pub which I think every single Edinburgh student is aware of and nearly the whole of my year seemed to be there.

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We might have just met but I’m sure we’ll be best friends for life

Afterwards we ended my first night in Edinburgh to Hive, and from speaking to people in older years, this seems to be one of the most loved venues in the city. However, for me the place was just a cave with sweat dripping from the walls and awfully cheesy music. But the drinks were cheap so realistically I’ll be going back very soon.

Monday:

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Every single person who goes to uni will probably get their dose of posh twats and rah rah boys, but I think they are definitely more concentrated in Pollock.

Most of them annoyingly shout ‘FRESHAAAAAAAAAAAR’ at every available opportunity . But don’t worry one certain idiot got what he deserved after receiving a hard fast slap from a large Scottish man after grabbing him by the face and shouting it in his face.

Another example of rah rah idiocy was when another boarding school leaver remained unhurt despite walking into a posh Chinese restaurant and belting ‘FRESHAAAR’ then running away.

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FRESHAAAAAAAR

Tuesday:

There was no running water in Pollock because of a roadwork malfunction meaning that we had to conserve our water. There was disposable cutlery in the dining hall and most houses had no running water. This led to an even bigger cock up as when people turned on their taps and nothing came on they left them running so when we finally got water back into our rooms some in Grant House were just flooded.

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A classic fresher’s room poster

This was the first day I met my amazing cleaner Eileen, she is a babe.

Although our first encounter started with her walking in on me in a towel the friendship soon blossomed with her promising to look after my plant as I was ‘killing’ it so now my peony will have a weekly water and trim.

I went to prink at Kincaid that night where I encountered a very drunk and horny girl showing us the difference between a ‘dagger’ and a ‘whiiiiiine’ which both include a lot of sexual hip movements.

Wednesday

We went to the Sports Fair and for a non athlete like me I thought this was a good opportunity to find an obscure and uncompetitive sport. So now I am on the newsletter for underwater hockey, ultimate frisbee, kendo and quidditch.

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Hitting the town

That night effectively every Fresher was at Bongo Club for Wookie. One of my friends forgot her ID so she had to get a taxi back to Pollock and back. The smoking area was disgustingly crammed and busier than the club. It was a hilarious night with my friend, Jo, and I walking all the way to New Town on a messy tour of the Edinburgh monuments. Which wasn’t nearly as eventful as a Ross and Ruth night where they broke into a primary school, stole a sign post and ran up Arthur’s Seat with it.

Thursday:

I was forced to wake up at 9.00 to go see my personal tutor and despite achieving nothing in the meeting and still not getting my head round Path or signing up for tutorials I left to go to the activities fair.

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Apparently it just gets worse from here

Two of my friends, Paddy and Neesh made a pact to sign each other up to a society of each others choice. So Paddy will be making arrows and combatting in the meadows with the Medieval Re-Enactment society, whilst Neesh will be going to church every Sunday to ring bells with the Guild of Change Ringers.img_4137

Although everyone assumes Freshers’ Week is a constant intoxicated party, I’ve still managed to fit in watching plenty of Narcos episodes and Neesh has had Modern Family constantly running. So we decided that although it was only day four of apparently the only week of edible Pollock Food we went to the restaurant 10to10. It may have been one of the only restaurants I have been to in Edinburgh but it is great, cheap and an authentic decor, definitely recommend. The boys, unsurprisingly, went to go claim the last chance to get a free dominoes.

Friday:

The whole of Edinburgh went to ‘Judy’s Vintage Sale’ and that night the whole thing was a 1980 squat rave with everyone wearing their ‘wavy’ garms. Quite a few of the sport trials were this day with Paddy getting his rejection email within an hour of leaving the event. I still have yet to climb Arthur’s seat but it will be done, no one can risk 7 years of the supposed bad sex, especially in Freshers.

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brutal

Overall, freshers and Pollock has been great. Theres certainly a stigma from older years over “classic freshers”, but I feel that everyone has been there and everyone looks back on the week with happy memories. Yes, everyone embarrasses themselves during freshers week, but would it be freshers if we didn’t?

“FRESHAAAAAAAA”

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