Two Men (and a Girl) in a Boat

Lucinda Ross explains why Valentine’s Day is overrated


Just when you think you’ve seen the last of the sickly couple photos from the holiday season, Valentine’s Day is right around the corner as a constant reminder of how happy you could be if you weren’t on your own.

Gladly waving goodbye to smug couple instagram photos cosying up at a Christmas market with a mulled wine, I’m only greeted to shop windows and heart shaped food as a final smack in the face. I’m from Liverpool and it was a real difference coming to Edinburgh to find that the guys here don’t chat you up, they literally have no game. In Liverpool you can wander into a club in your gym kit and facepaint and still have guys gagging to buy you a drink. I know, I know, that they’re only after one thing but the men in Edinburgh could show a little interest once in a while! The furthest me and my friends got was a group of sports society lads in Opal saying “my card has a £5 minimum, can I buy you a jaegar bomb?” and the cheeky buggers then asked us for change before disappearing into the dance floor.

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‘Want a shot?’ is not a good line

So you can imagine how surprised I was last week when a guy asked me out to a nice cocktail bar called Bramble on Friday night. The guy was classy and smart and knew that Jaegar-LeCoultre isn’t a dirty £1.50 red bull shot you can get in The Hive. Turning up in a bow tie and smoking jacket, the guy gave Chuck Bass a run for his money. Despite my moaning of guys with no game, I decided halfway through the date I had no interest in the guy with the game. Being rusty on my dating skills having been in Edinburgh for so long, I hadn’t made my pre-Date strategic mental notes, checking whether the exit was near the ladies loos and the location of the back door, so I was practically a rabbit caught in the headlights when he made a lunge at me in the middle of the bar.

Perhaps if the date went like this...

Perhaps if the date went like this…

After an awkward five minutes of explaining that I have “intimacy issues” and another half an hour of small talk I went home only to find that he had blocked me on Facebook. So, instead of sick or lonely on Valentine’s Day, I’m going to feel smug that I am single and not the one eating someone’s heart shaped, sugar coated bullshit this February.