Love and loss in the library

This week Flo has turned her search for the perfect man towards Bill Bryson (the library, not the man. Obviously).

I actually thought that exam term was going to be more exciting than this. I thought maybe I would meet some my-sun-and-my-stars boy, preferably with an edgy Mulan. We would bond over the mild annoyance that is other people in the library. Both look into each other’s eyes as we sighed at some popular people whispering to each other. Brush hands as we plug our laptops in, bump into each other in the yum coffee queue and end up bonking between the moveable shelves

That edgy Mulan… Let’s get down to business…

But it just hasn’t happened. Because I’m not a keen-o I don’t get to the library early enough to be able to choose my seat. So don’t get to swan around looking for potential hubbies to sit next to and have to make do with whatever cramped corner I find. And when I do get a choice the lack of vitamin D in my life and the craving for natural light takes over any other hormonal urges in seat preference.

Highlights of my day recently have included getting the exact right squash to water ratio in college and going to the toilet. When I even think I might need a wee a little bit in the library I jump up for joy. Oh! A guilt free break where I can look at my phone for 45 seconds while I piss. And oh my god number 2s!!! That’s like 3 minutes of Quiz Up.

Quizzing whilst whizzing. The dream

Seeing past flings in the library is mixed in rewards. Some you can actually talk to for 2 minutes and have human social interaction with, which is like the equivalent of sex in exam term. Some give the polite nod ‘n’ smile, which is just mildly depressing and/or gigglely depending on who they are. And some stare at their shoes and pretend that they didn’t see you. You’d think the last scenario would be the most woeful, but actually it can be so amusing to grin at them while the squirm with awkward, that it makes up for what it loses in dignity, in entertainment value.

The most exciting thing that happened to me was when I accidently sat next to an attractive person and my WiFi wouldn’t connect. He told me to “turn it off and on again”. It was a beautiful moment. Sadly his advice didn’t work and I had to leave the library to have a panic cry.

I thought, “it will be okay, I’ll see him again!” I’m always seeing the same people in the Library. And we can have a situation like I described in paragraph one and my world will look brighter.

But I haven’t, he has slipped from my fingers, WiFi boy where are you? I can’t even really remember what you looked like, I think you were blond, and did maths, and owned an iPad.

Didn’t inherit talents. Also don’t have yellow highlighter.

All I’m saying is that I have two discounted tickets to the union awards (thanks guys!) and you can look me up on duo just like everyone else. Looking forward to your email <3 xxx