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Battle of the Mainsbury’s Easter Eggs

Who will crack under the pressure?

Easter is almost upon us and as it gets closer you may be thinking of buying an egg, for yourself or for a friend. With such a dizzying array of choices available in Mainsbury’s it is almost impossible to decide which one to buy. But worry not, I am here, as a saviour if you will, to review the most likely contenders and crown a winning egg so you can confidently buy one and know it is by far the best.

Sainsbury’s Milk Chocolate Egg

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You are about to see this image a lot. Sorry not sorry!

Price: 5/5. At only 90p this egg wins on price and is a good option for an Easter enthusiast on a budget. Taste: 3/5. Better than I expected, but not the best. Wasteful packaging?: 4/5. A little more packaging than necessary but it’s all cardboard so easy to recycle. Fun Factor: 0.5/5. The rabbits on the packaging are cute but nothing more exciting than that. Verdict: It’s an okay option if you’re really strapped for cash but it’s just a bit…basic. And nicer eggs are only about 10p more. This is the Marks and Spencer’s sweater of Easter eggs, dependable but dull.

Lindt Golden Bunny

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Yep, photoshop skills are definitely on my CV.

Price: 0/5. £6 is a price only the foolish would pay for a hollow egg. And Lindor eggs are even more ridiculous at £10. Taste: 2/5. Lindt chocolate is massively overrated. It’s basically the Trinity College of chocolate. Seems expensive and beautiful but is actually full of goose poo and mathmos. In the case of egg that is only slightly metaphorical.

Wasteful packaging?: 2/5. By far the most excessively wasteful packaging, far more plastic was used than necessary (probably to make it look like you are getting more than you really are because you are legit having to take out a small loan to buy the egg). Fun Factor: 4/5. There is a word search and a maze on the outside of the box which should keep you entertained for a good ten minutes while you procrastinate your revision. Verdict: Only buy this if you want people to think you are a fool. Lindt is overpriced and not as tasty as the cheaper stuff. If you want a real luxury egg you’ll have to branch out of Sainsbury’s.

Kinder Surprise Bunny

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How adaptable is this photo?! I’m weighing up the pros and cons…

Price: 3/5. £2.50 isn’t too bad but it isn’t all that big. The saving grace is the toy. Taste: 4/5. Tastes like nostalgia and joy. Wasteful packaging?: 5/5. Only wrapped in recyclable foil so basically no excess. Fun Factor: 5/5. It comes with a toy, what more do you want? I won’t spoil what the surprise is, but boy are you in for a good time. Verdict: Sort of childish but also quite yummy, this is a good option for that friend who’s a child at heart.

Cadbury’s Eggs (Various)

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The emojis are a bit one sided on this one…

Price: 5/5. Eggs range from £1-5 so suit any budget. I bought the Buttons egg (£1), Creme egg (£3) and Peter Rabbit egg with toy (£5) as the selection was so huge I felt it only fair to buy a couple. Paying more does get you more. Taste: 5/5. Cadbury’s is a classic and we all know it’s good. Maybe it’s a bit of a ‘Starbucks’ option (basic) but it’s delicious and there is nothing edgy about Easter eggs anyway. Wasteful packaging?: 4/5. All packaging was cardboard/foil and there is an option to buy a foil only egg which means no waste. Was a bit too much cardboard on some eggs. Fun Factor: 1/5. Pretty much all eggs come with the chance to win Peter Rabbit prizes which adds a minor element of excitement and you can write your name on the box if you’re really desperately bored. I might have rated the competition higher if I hadn’t bought 3 eggs without winning a single thing. Verdict: You can’t really go wrong with a Cadbury’s egg. My favourite was the Buttons egg, which is essentially the same deal as the Sainsbury’s egg but it’s worth the extra 10p for the improvement in taste.

Milky Bar Hatching Chick

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Is it me or is this chick head a bit terrifying?

Price: 2/5. £2.50 for a small white chocolate egg is quite steep, even if there is a chick inside the egg. Taste: 1/5. White chocolate is an abomination, only worthwhile to see how far you’ve come since being a child and liking the vile substance. Wasteful packaging?: 5/5. Only wrapped in recyclable foil so no waste. Fun Factor: 3/5. The chick that ‘hatches’ from the egg is about the most exciting thing you’ll see if you are alone and in a Easter egg eating haze at midnight. Otherwise, I expect it is mediocre at best. Verdict: Don’t buy this, white chocolate is awful. Even the excitement of the chick is ruined because that is also white chocolate.

Galaxy Minstrels Egg

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An oddly sinister egg

Price: 4/5. This egg is £3 so more than some but it’s actually quite enormous so it’s forgivable. Taste: 4/5. Galaxy is delicious in small quantities, but can get a bit cloying after a while. However, Minstrels are the ultimate cinema food don’t @ me. Wasteful packaging?: 3/5. Quite a lot more packaging than needed but made sure to point out it is all recyclable so people actually recycle it. Fun Factor: -1/5. It says ‘Easter pleasure’ on the box which is by far the most unpleasant thing my eyes have ever had to read in the context of Easter. It just seems oddly sexualised for an item primarily marketed at children. Verdict: Once you move beyond the creepy ‘Easter pleasure’ faux pas it’s a good egg if you want a larger one that tastes good and seems a bit fancier than your basic Dairy Milk. Galaxy is also apparently women’s favourite chocolate [because clearly there is a biological imperatives to your chocolate preferences !!] so perhaps one for a WOMAN?

Celebrations Egg

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Celebrations aren’t just for Christmas anymore

Price: 4/5. Like the Galaxy egg this was £3 but large. Taste: 5/5. In terms of the egg itself, as opposed to the bits that came with it, this was my favourite egg. It tasted like a mars bar even though it was just milk chocolate. Wasteful packaging?: 3/5. More packaging than necessary but as with Galaxy they make it clear that you can recycle it. Fun Factor: 0/5. This is a very functional egg, even the Celebrations are in a boring clear plastic bag. Verdict: If all you want is a good tasting egg and sweets then this is the egg to get. There is no pizazz but it tasted great. The Maltesers egg is identical to this but slightly cheaper at £1.25, if you aren’t fussed about Celebrations but do want to sample this excellent egg.

The winner?

Me, because I got to eat all those eggs and had a valid excuse for doing it. But also the Cadbury eggs, because they had no downsides and even though I think the Celebrations egg tasted slightly better the massive variety of Cadbury eggs, in price and product, gives them edge in my view. Also Cadbury were slightly less wasteful because they used cardboard packaging only. That said, either of these eggs will do you well, even though I know I’d be buying Cadbury, if I hadn’t already eaten so many Easter eggs that I never want to see another again.

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My photoshop skills continue to amaze

The loser of this event is clearly Lindt, since they were most expensive and second most disgusting. Not even the wordsearch made that egg worthwhile, please do not buy it. In fact, should anyone buy you a Lindt egg I suggest you take it as a sign that they dislike you and immediately shun them. Presentation of any white chocolate egg should be seen as a death threat for only someone who truly despises you would ever force one upon you.