Gardies launch manhunt for ‘inhuman’ Grinch who stole Christmas (tips)
Gardies have released CCTV footage capturing the theft of their Christmas tip box by a young male customer last Thursday night
All is not what it seems back in the Bridge.
In a bid to identify the seasonal scoundrel, the clip was posted on their Facebook page alongside the caption “This guy stole our Christmas tips.
“We are sorry for him. We hope Christmas will heal his illness and become proper human again [sic]. Let’s all pray for this MF ; ) share video”.
Since the video’s release four days ago, the Cambridge community has responded with overwhelming support for the social media campaign, sharing the video 1,370 times and attracting almost 80,000 hits.
Some non-student commentators have reacted with a predictable degree of class-oriented bitterness (“Fucking university posh students don’t know how to appreciate money let alone others!!” came from a certain Joshua Reid, whose profile and cover photo tellingly depicts the Union Jack)
Others have rallied to support the 50-year old kebab chain, promising to “drop by a nice tip” to make up for the theft.
The Grinch-esque opportunist appears to be a young, tall man with a fair complexion and non-descript grey sweater.
In a display of total absence of Christmas spirit, another young man with dark hair and distinctive eyebrows, thought to be the thief’s friend, is seen laughing as the tip jar is stolen in the video.
“What a bellend.”
“Both him and his mate ought to be arrested for grand theft pecuniae,” suggested one Selwyn Classicist.
“I don’t believe someone would actually steal it out of greed,” added a Women’s Officer who chose to leave her college undisclosed.
“I think this was undoubtably some form of late initiation challenge – another example of how drinking societies are destroying the reputation of both the University and town alike.
A police investigation has been launched, although the constabulary was unavailable for comment at the time of writing.
The Tab asks that anyone who has any information on the culprit(s) comes forward and contacts the Cambridgeshire Constabulary on 101.