Which meal deal should you get and why, based on your first-year accommodation?

You can learn everything you need to know about a Bristol student through two vital pieces of information: Their first-year accommodation, and their meal deal of choice. As a self-certified meal deal connoisseur, I have assigned first-year halls as meal deals based purely off vibes and vibes alone. Please don’t be offended these are very stereotype-heavy (sorry Wills).

Badock

As Lakota’s biggest fans, Badock residents will undoubtedly need a coffee and being catered means that, unlike the rest of us, their diet does not consist of exclusively pasta so they are not absolutely sick of it yet. A fruit pot to counteract everything else they put in their bodies because health is wealth!

Churchill

Churchill is home to some of the most extreme Bristol girlies about, who undoubtedly would sell their kidney for anything with smoked salmon and cream cheese. Tony’s and a cloudy apple juice are great choices but do give daddy’s money vibes (rumour has it Churchill is the new Wills?).

Durdham

We all saw this coming, but as an ex-Durdhamee, I am here to officially say the rumours are true and Durdham is a ghost town most of the time. However, I am de-bunking the deadham reputation, as the residents are super fun and amazing (definitely not biased at all).

Wills

Wills Hall residents have jumped straight off the bus from boarding school into North Village, and seem to be in their own Hogwarts-like world. As the humble £3.50 meal deal will be far too common for them, the average Wills resident is opting for the five-pound upgraded one. They have to include a graze box to remind them of snacks from Waitrose of course.

Hiatt Baker

The Hiatt girlie may be basic, but basic is basic for a reason – it works. Everyone and their third cousin seems to have gone to Hiatt but they seem to have a good time, and we are all jealous of their prime location by the U1 bus stop.

University Halls

The residents of UH (unfairly known to be a shithole) will be among the nicest you will ever meet in your first year of university. This doesn’t mean, however, that they don’t pop off on a night out, and the building itself is certainly unique.

Brunel

Those who spend their first year of uni at Brunel will need something that counteracts all the 4 for £6 jaegers, with OMG dangerously close. Those post-OMG hangovers are bad enough without having to fight for your life up Park Street to get to uni.

Unite

Unite House gives mixed signals as there’s lots going on but also gives the most basic Bristol student energy. You could say it’s the Hiatt Baker of city centre accommodations; Unite students will be opting for an equally basic meal deal. Sorry Unite, nothing special to see here.

Riverside

The wannabe influencers staying at Riverside will go crazy for this plant-based meal deal, taking the words and actions of Olivia Neill as gospel. Those at Riverside will think of a night out as going to King Street, taking their Be Real and then calling it a night.

Goldney

Goldney is kind of a knock-off Wills; it’s undeniably aesthetically pleasing but it doesn’t quite hit the same. Situated right next to Constitution Hill, these freshers are probably never leaving their halls meaning they are probably a bit feral. They also give the vibe that they would have no shame eating tuna in a library.

Orchard Heights

Orchard Heights residents are in the absolute trenches with horror stories galore, as well as a literal rat infestation. Here, the crustiest of the first-year bunch will of course opt for a cheese and onion sandwich, maybe even making that pickled onion to pay homage to its pickled furry friend from last year.

Hillside Woodside

The funky name is all Hillside Woodside really has going for it. These students will absolutely need all the energy they can get as I am convinced the only reason someone would choose to stay this far from campus is to tell their future children the tales of their voyage to school.

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