A considered list of all the hottest halls at Bristol Uni

If you’re into tweed, stick to Stoke Bishop


University is the perfect time to meet new people. For some of us, that means finding a special someone. Why not cut the chase and have a look at our list of the hottest halls at Bristol Uni so you can find exactly who you're looking for.

Stoke Bishop

Churchill

The requirements for Churchill residents are having a fake south-east London accent and clothes from the depths of Depop. But don’t let this fool you — they were still brought on daddy’s credit card. The people here get the best of both worlds: if you’re looking for a champagne socialist that can feign normality to your friends back home AND will be loved by your parents for their manners, Churchill is the perfect place to find your soulmate.

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Who could resist the bow tie?

Wills

Are you a big fan of tweed jackets and red chinos? Then this is the place to go to find your perfect partner for cuffing season. Apparently, a student was seen carrying a ring of pheasants through old quad last year, and if that isn’t a turn on I don’t know what is. If you can get past the love of port at pres, can navigate questions like ‘what school did you go to?’ (spoiler: if it wasn’t a top-level public school, don’t bother answering) and can put up with the Jacob Rees-Mogg background on their phone, you’re left with a well-connected and well-funded significant other. They probably study Social Policy though.

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You'll even get invited to all their formals

Badock

If you’re looking for someone who can tolerate an irritating personality, doesn’t talk too much and probably won’t remember you, look for the guy gurning in the corner of Lakota, chances are he’s from Badock. On the plus side, they have one of the best halls bars in Bristol and the raspy voice from smoking 20 rollies a day is pretty enticing. What's more, they absolutely have a high flying banker job lined up in the city.

Hiatt Baker

If you’re from north London and you like North Face, these are the people for you. However, at least try and pull someone from self-catered so you don't spend half your time queueing for food.

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Smile if you like North Face

University Hall

A cheap and cheerful bunch, they know how to survive a night out in far more questionable places than Bristol and they’re almost definitely self-sufficient which is a huge plus. On the downside, it might be worth waiting until second year when they have a house before moving in — their flatmates won’t appreciate having another person in a kitchen that can’t even fit all the residents in.

Durdham

Well known for their reclusiveness, if you’re lucky enough to meet someone from here you’re off to a flying start. Durdham students are easily spotted by their lack of wavey garms and inability to name more than a couple of clubs. Despite this, they’re perfect relationship material, hardworking, and have more to talk about than how sick a night they barely remember was, and what drugs they took yesterday – oh, and they don’t dress in shit vintage shell suits.

Clifton

Goldney

They can throw the best flat parties of any hall, mainly because if you can’t fit in the flat they have the nicest grounds in Bristol to have your tactical chunder in. They’re all from north London and they’re basically all vegan and gluten-free. If you can live with them spouting the virtues of the latest Goop product backed up by a rich array of pseudoscience you’ll probably be fine, and they can dress themselves for a formal far better than anyone at Wills.

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They're even animal lovers

Manor

Somewhat forgettable, but a good-natured bunch of people, plenty of 10/10s you don't even know about.

Clifton Hill House

Ahhh, CHH. It feels like a school on the inside with its long corridors and winding hallways, which is just as difficult to navigate as a conversation with a resident of this esteemed hall, mostly because it's all work and no fun. It'll almost make you regret going up to them in the Gravity smoking area.

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Their room might not be that aesthetic

City centre

Waverley, Favell and The Rackhay

Looking for someone who's wavey, single and ready to mingle? Look no further than the city centre halls. After realising that they've signed up to live above a carpark for the upcoming year (*cough* Waverley *cough*), city centre students are often keen to get out and socialise. But that's hardly surprising given that half of the students' views from their rooms is just another block of student accommodation. You never know, maybe your soulmate is the girl growing cacti in the opposite block.

Unite

The people here aren’t known for their fine, high-quality social skills, but that’s what happens after spending a year in what is only a slight step up from a prison block. However, what they lack on the social chessboard they readily made up for damn fine dress sense and toned legs from walking up the Orchard Heights steps.

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They also know how to party

Orchard heights

Like Unite, but these people are more fun and better at parties. They are often spotted on a cheesy Lounge night out.

New Bridewell

Lifeless, clinical, and just a little bit fit, the students of this hall might not have much to offer in terms of personality (much like the hall itself), but what they lack in that department they more than make up for by being 10 seconds from SWX.

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At least you'll only have a 2 minute walk to SWX

The Courtrooms

Like New Bridewell but two feet closer to uni.

Woodland Road

The Hawthorns

Not only are these guys right on campus, but they’re approximately 50 steps from the freshly renovated uni gym, and they know how to use it.