Hiatt Baker catered is officially the poshest halls of residence in Bristol
Two thirds of them went to a private school
For years, the debate over "which hall is the poshest?" has plagued the dinner tables and fine minds of Bristol students across the city.
Well now we have answers. You can stop yelling at that rugby lad in Lizard Lounge who keeps claiming that Stokey B is "not that posh". The Tab Bristol can confirm that yes, yes it is.
Following numerous Freedom of Information requests, we can reveal which halls of residence have the most privately educated students. In a shocking turn of events, Churchill has been knocked off the top spot, supplanted at long last by an unlikely bastion of public school privilege…
Below is a list of the halls of residence which have the most ex-private school kids at Bristol Uni:
10. Hiatt Baker Self Catered- 21% Privately Educated
The younger and significantly less posh brother of Hiatt Baker Catered, you thought you'd make friends for life here but actually spend much of your time avoiding the advances of Archie from catered, who appears to want to impress you with his knowledge of croquet.
9. New Bridewell- 21% Privately Educated
Floor to ceiling glass in the kitchen is entirely unreasonable, but very useful for recreating the high jinx you used to get up to in boarding school. Flashing passing lorries? Milly, you are naughty.
8. The Rackhay- 22% Privately Educated
Was it your first choice? No. But Bristol wasn't your first choice uni either.
7. The Hawthorns-22% Privately Educated
You told yourself that being this close to uni would be worth living in this hot rabbit warren of fluorescent lights, but to be honest it's making you miss the luxuries you so enjoyed in dorms. Like sunlight.
6. Durdham- 23% Privately Educated
Living up to it's very boring standards Durdham excels itself with a really mediocre score. With almost a quarter of residents still from private schools, it can't even pretend to be edgy and grungy, but it's not quite weekly shop from Ocado either.
5. Hillside Woodside- 24% Privately Educated
No, I didn’t know this was a place either. Probably because it's not even in Bristol- it’s technically in Somerset. But crossing the Suspension Bridge out of the hustle and bustle of the city probably reminds you of your country home in Devon.
4. Badock Hall- 52% Privately Educated
Alright Hector, you can put away your harem trousers now you're not fooling anyone. Despite their backpacking trip to Cambodia, and the really shit tattoo they got on the way Badock students all have one thing in common: they talk like posh twats. Does this remind you of that one time in Laos when you were also surrounded by fellow Etonians?
3. Wills Hall – 61% Privately Educated
For the fifth year in a row, Wills fails to make the top spot. Despite the fact that privately educated students outnumber 'normals' nearly two to one, the hall is not *quite* living up to its gentrified reputation. So much for "the Wills on the bus go rah rah rah" eh?
2. Churchill Hall – 64% Privately Educated
Losing the top spot of poshest halls of residence must be a tough cross to bear for Churchill. Luckily, students here are used to having to fight for things. Like the maintenance of their rich white privilege.
1. Hiatt Baker Catered – 66% Privately Educated
In news that will shock no-one, a private education does not prepare you for the gruelling tasks of cooking for yourself. With a whopping 66% of students coming from private education, Hiatt Baker students can now proudly don their tracksuits and oversized hoops, swagger into a £30 motion event and talk about how unfair it is that they didn't qualify for a bursary even though going to private school sooooo doesn't mean you're rich. That's okay though, the money you 'save' on food you can use to buy ket through a period of brief rebellion until you join the family business #firstworldproblems
A few further facts…
Student Houses had the least privately educated students with precisely 0 of its 41 students this year going to independent schools. 115 Queens Road and Favell House had only 7% and 8% respectively whilst Goldney, CHH and UH all just missed out on this list with 20% poshos each.
Overall there are 4823 students in halls this year. Of these 1465 (30%) went to independent schools and 3358 (70%) state.