Everyone you will meet on a night out in Bristol
Bristol students definitely do it better
Bristol is a fusion of different characters and personalities, and with so many on offer what can go wrong?
If you’ve ever been to Bristol you know of it’s reputation for being full of posh private school kids, junkies and wavy garms.
With so much happening in the city, this is a definitive list of everyone you’ll probably end up meeting on a classic night out in Brizzle.
The Gap Yah Girl
She found herself in south east Asia last year. She’ll probably be wearing a crochet top and harems showing of the remnants of her sun-kissed tan whilst talking non-stop about how she helped impoverished communities by building a well or something like that.
After being shown 10 Facebook albums of her travels she’ll probably teach you how to authentically pronounce words such as ‘vacathhhiones’ or ‘chorizzthho’.
The Posh boy
Equipped with his double barrelled surname he will swagger into ‘Bunker Mundaze’ wearing chino’s and boat shoes.
Rahing away with a glass of Merlot he’ll remind you of Dom from Gogglebox; but younger and more charming. He’ll tell you how he used to play croquet as a child and he’ll blab on about how he’s distantly related to Will or Kate.
There’s a high possibility he’ll be staying in Wills.
He’ll definitely be in Wills.
The Person Who Can’t Handle Their Drink
You probably won’t even meet them; they’ll probably already be in an Uber back to Stoke Bishop even though it’s only 10pm. Poor sod.
Fresh from one of Bristol’s vintage clothes shops, they’ll be spotted on the dance floor of Thekla on alternative night.
Boys will probably have a top knot and will be wearing a vintage, patterned shirt which is a bit too big for them and smells of old people.
Girls will probably be wearing a vintage Tommy Hilfiger top which is a bit too big for them and smells of old people. Both will complete the look with skinny jeans and retro Adidas trainers.
They probably won’t change their outfit for their 9am philosophy seminar or their 10am the day after that.
He’ll probably roll his own cigarettes and will scrounge baccy of everyone in the smoking area of Motion.
This person is ubiquitous to Bristol, but you won’t see him in the corner of Pam Pams gurning all alone.
You’ll definitely bumpy into a lad getting on the bomb squad with the boys at the bar.
Short back and sides, has a quiff, T-shirt which is a bit too tight – check, check, and check. His shirt will have a few too many buttons undone so he can pull some chicas.
You’ll probably see him again about 10 times during the evening pulling a different girl each time. Play on Player.
A UWE student
Rougher and more brazen than your average UOB student. The UWE student is a wild, unpredictable individual who is loud and proud of his often insulted alma mater.
Be wary of slating their Uni if they’ve had more than a few drinks.
The Girl Who Thinks She’s at A Festival
She’ll probably be unnecessarily covered in glitter and gems and dressed head to toe in vintage and quasi-wavy garms.
Whilst drinking a can of iconic Red Stripe, she’ll inform you on how she’s really into grime and house. Don’t worry because she’s not too edgy as she only knows Skepta’s new album and one song by Stormzy.
Olivia this isn’t Bestival it’s Lizard Lounge.
The Girl Who Will Snapchat Everything
Gone are the days in which people would actually enjoy going out; this girl will spend her whole evening updating her story so that all her cool, new uni friends know that she really is a fun girl.
You won’t have her on Snapchat or know her name but you do know that you’re in her story about 30 times in selfies with the dog filter on.
You’ll undoubtedly wonder why she insists on spending the whole night Live-blogging. She might as well just use Facebook live