Gotcha! Here’s every ridiculous way we fooled you this April Fools’ Day
No, Greg James isn’t leaving Radio 1 to teach at UEA and Joe Goldberg isn’t being recast in YOU
Nothing creates better laughs than fooling people over and over on April Fools’ Day and getting away with it. It’s the best day to pull some pranks and constantly fool people and watch as everyone frantically searches if Penn Badgley is really leaving YOU, and so The Tab did just that.
From saying Joe Goldberg was going to be recast in YOU season five to fines being issued if you’re caught smoking an Elf Bar on uni campus, The Tab has had a hoot pranking and mugging everyone right off. Sorry not sorry x
Here are all the headlines across The Tab this April Fools’ Day 2023 that made you look a right fool. Oops!
With the winter season of Love Island over, everyone is desperate for a daily fix. So we decided it was the best time to announced that Love Island was returning in two days with a spring season. Oh, and that Will and Jessie were going to be hosting Love Island from the farm. Given the new summer season of Love Island is set to air in two months, you’d expect Maya Jama needs her beauty rest!
In the world of Netflix, there was a shocking announcement that shocked every fan to their very core. We revealed that Penn Badgley confirmed he wouldn’t be in YOU season five and Joe Goldberg was going to be recast. Penn Badgley had confirmed to The Tab a new season of playing Joe was a step too far and that he hated London. “I hate London. The people are rude, the city is bleak. If the producers think I’m going back there to film again, they’ve got another thing coming.”
The only other thing coming is that Penn will most definitely be in season five of YOU, which Netflix has confirmed will be the show’s final season.
The Tab Norwich had a field day when it announced Radio 1 DJ, Greg James, was making a return to UEA to teach Broadcast and Multimedia Journalism in September. Greg studied drama at UEA and even graduated with a 2:1, so it seems only a natural progression! Greg told The Tab Norwich he felt like he needed to “achieve more”.
Greg James even got involved with the shenanigans and reposted his statement to his Instagram story. It had everyone in a tizzy, shame it’s not happening though!
All the way in Manchester, it was confirmed there were officially more rats in Fallowfield than students, according to a new study. The “groundbreaking” research was carried out by a team of zoologists led by Dr Remy Rate, who found evidence of “tens of thousands of rats” in the Fallowfield student area. The trusty zoologist told The Manchester Tab: “I have never seen anything like it. The outcome of our study is truly astounding.” Hold on, his name is Remy Rate?
The Tab Nottingham decided to really instil the fear in people when they announced the University of Nottingham and Nottingham Trent University would be merging from September 2023. In leaked documents, the plans revealed UoN would start merging by “hosting Trent students for three days a week on University Park Campus”.
To make matters even more hilarious, the so-called documents revealed a “buddy-up scheme” where a UoN and Trent students were paired together to “encourage a new path of friendship”. Don’t go spending your April loan drop all at Rock City, because obviously this isn’t happening.
In a plot twist no one saw coming, Prince William and Kate Middleton were said to be hosting an exclusive viewing party of The Crown for St Andrews students. In a bid to “commemorate” their time at the university, the happy couple were going to select a student at random to watch the new season a month before its release. If the student didn’t reply in 24 hours, a different student would be selected. How very royal.
Way up north in Durham, it was revealed Durham University graduates would be gifted a signet ring upon their graduation. The ring would be given free of charge and students would have the opportunity to upgrade their ring to made in solid nine carat gold with an added fee of £400. Order would have been able to be made next week if this were true.
In what seems a perfect episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, a source told The Belfast Tab, members of Kim Kardashian’ team had been assessing locations throughout Belfast to open up her own pub. One of the suggested locations was reported to be near the Queen’s University campus near the University Road. Shame it’s not going to happen though.
Edinburgh Uni have all the merch, so it was pretty unsurprising when The Edinburgh Tab revealed the university gift shop was going to start selling exclusive Edinburgh Uni vapes. Two of the flavours included The Big Cheese flavour and a hummus flavour. You taste buds will stay intact because this just isn’t happening.
Given the fact Bristol Uni’s new vice-chancellor is none other than Florence + The Machine’s mum, The Bristol Tab thought it’d be funny to dupe fans into thinking she was performing an intimate gig in the Wills Memorial Building at the University of Bristol. Sorry Bristol students, our queen and saviour Florence Welch will unfortunately not be making an appearance.
Newcastle Uni was moving lectures to Soho Rooms in a bid to encourage students to attend this April Fools’ Day. The plans were announced via the university’s website and those affected by the move were to be notified on the Newcastle University app. In a statement, the university said: “This last semester we have seen a significant fall in attendance to in-person lectures, with many opting to instead watch a recording online.
“So after lengthy conversations with different schools at the university, the decision was made to hold off-campus lectures at the local nightclub Soho Rooms to encourage attendance and create a new immersive experience.” Sorry to let you down, a great idea if it were true.
The Lincoln Tab said graduations were not going to be held at the cathedral anymore because the Vice Chancellor isn’t a fan of walking up Steep Hill. It was instead going to be held at the Isaac Newton Building, one of Lincoln’s biggest lecture theatres.
Everyone loves going to the beach after a lecture but in Bournemouth that time was going to be capped and a curfew was going to be imposed on Bournemouth students to crack down on anti-social behaviour. The council had made the decision to only allow students on the beaches between 9am and 5pm, lasting indefinitely. Savage if true.
In Oxford, it was confirmed New College was going to be renamed Old College as the university believe the name was misleading, given the college is 644 years old. New College was founded in 1379, making it Oxford’s ninth oldest college, and so it just needed a change in name. Makes sense, but it just won’t happen.
Imagine all you were looking forward to this spring was rowing on the River Cam, but instead it was restricted to abide by royal protection laws. That’s exactly how The Cambridge Tab fooled everyone this year! The most popular sport in Cambridge was set to be banned to respect the laws and several “boat-free zones” were going to be created. Savage, but untrue.
Bournemouth wasn’t the only uni to implement curfews this April Fools’ Day. The Brookes Tab announced the university was implementing a curfew on all Cowley Road student house parties. Students hosting and attending house parties were going to be ordered to vacate the area and keep noise to a minimum at 11pm. Crazy if true! Pretty sane given it’s not.
The King’s Tab managed to get their hands on some never before seen information that KCL was going to implement new mandatory uniform in the next academic year. The uniform was going to a bright red colour to match the colour on the KCL logo. The uniform implementation would’ve made KCL the first UK university to implement the change.
The sesh heads at Cardiff Uni shed a tear before they realised this wasn’t real when The Cardiff Tab revealed the SU was banning VKs at club nights due to staff complaints. Cardiff SU staff began complaining about the amount of empty VK bottles they had to clear after a club night, with other worker saying they had severe hand cramps after a shift!
Shock and horror! The Exeter Tab said Exeter Uni was going to ban applications from students from Surrey for diversity reasons. In addition to this, the university had also decided to cap the number of students accepted with double barrelled names. It’s a tough day for the Tarquins of the world!
Job done! The Tab Birmingham made everyone look a fool when they announced Love Island’s Hugo Hammond would be joining the University of Birmingham as a sports science lecturer. The move made every sense given he previously worked as a trainee PE teacher in Devon and studied Sports Coaching at Oxford Brookes University. Unfortunately all you’ve got to do is check his socials to realise he’s all the way in Australia.
Coventry Uni became the first university to allow students to use ChatGPT in exams for a few hours this April Fools’ Day. In leaked emails seen by The Coventry Tab, senior management concluded the use of the software “should be harnessed” by students. Shame this won’t be happening anytime soon.
Something Scottish students have to deal with a lot is the English, so it only made sense for Glasgow Uni to award compensation for them having to put up with it everyday! The Glasgow Tab found out that the university would be offering £600 to Scottish students after they saw an increase in the intake of UK students. If only it were true!
It’s a tough day for beach universities. Sussex University students living in Brighton and Sussex were set to be banned from drinking on Brighton beach. According to a source close to the uni, the ban was being put in place due to the “unruly and antisocial behaviour caused by the consumption of alcohol on Brighton’s beaches”. Students could have been set to receive a £50 fine on the spot if any of it were true.
Huge news for pastry fans as leaked emails revealed Greggs had agreed to sponsor Lancaster University sports teams for Roses 2023. The bakery chain had even agreed to thrown in Greggs t-shirts. Shame this isn’t true though, off to Primark you go to get a Greggs t-shirt.
Love Island 2023 winner Kai Fagan was going to be making a return to Sheffield Hallam to teach a module on Love Island this April Fools’ Day. Kai earned one of his degrees at SHU so it only made sense he was going back to work at the Media, Arts and Communications department to teach students about the ins and outs of Love Island and what it means to be a reality TV star in 2023.
According to The Liverpool Tab, Liverpool SU pub announced plans to ban students with mullets from entering the premises, following anonymous student feedback. Hold onto your mullets though and check the date!
STEM students at the University of Warwick were banned from studying in the FAB after complaints from Arts students this April Fools’ Day. The ban came after a number of Arts students complained there were not enough study spaces available, with STEM students taking up all the seats. The aim of the ban was to “allow for a more collaborative space between Arts and Humanities students and maintain the exclusivity of creative engagement.”
Similarly to another Tab UK April Fools’ prank, The London Tab announced University College London would be implementing an Elf Bar ban on campus. UCL’s No Smoking Policy already prohibits students smoking on and within five metres outside campus buildings, so The London Tab added a bit of fruity flavour to the policy.
It’s no secret that a lot of universities have buildings that aren’t too pleasing on the eyes. The University of York went one extra and announced it was demolishing Derwent College over complaints it was an eyesore. An SU source told The York Tab the demolition would take place this summer while no students were living in the college. Hate to break it to you, but Derwent College will still be there come September.
A brand new nightclub was said to be coming to Southampton with a fruity twist. The city-centre nightclub was going to exclusively only serve VKS, with a promotional offer of five VKs for a fiver. I’m personally in pain this isn’t true.
The University of Leeds announced its plans to implement an 11pm curfew on house parties in Hyde Park, Woodhouse Moor, Headingley and Burley following a number of complaints from locals. Failure to follow the restrictions could have meant fines or court orders, if it were true.