Liverpool Students’ Union pub announces students with mullets will no longer be allowed in

Mullets cancelled? Yes please

We are all very familiar with the mullet men roaming around the University of Liverpool, clogging up the bars and clubs, simply getting in our way. Well, fear no more because I am about to bring you some beautiful news.

After some anonymous student feedback, the Students’ Union at the University of Liverpool has made the delightful decision to remove these mulleted men from their bar all together. Thank God.

For some of you this news may be seriously detrimental towards your happiness and I do apologise. Students at UoL have said that they hope that this ban puts an end to the mullet men’s drunk and disorderly behaviour on nights out where they take any opportunity to take off their tops and stick their clammy bodies up against freshers.

I think it’s safe to say that too often they’re spotted swishing their mullets to The Killers gripping a warm pint of Stella whilst they bang on about how they’ve discovered their new passion for the decks. “Oh you’ve never been to Meraki? Maaaate you have not lived, I just looove the vibe in there…” Like come on now, we all know you love a bit of Adele.

If you’re not already grinning slightly, just imagine the peace that is going to be upon us, where the echoes of the mullets discussing their gap yahs and houses in the South of France will be gone. For those of you who love a skinhead, skin fade or just simply longer hair- this is your time to move a little loose.

Despite this news, it may not affect as many males as we would like, unfortunately many of the sport societies such as rugby and cricket usually head to Hatch and Mcooleys on a Wednesday night, so for those of you saddened by this SU news, you know where to find them!

Interestingly though, Liverpool is also not a notably mullet-mad university in comparison to other Russell groups such as Exeter, Durham or Edinburgh, in these Student Unions I’m sure every five metres you’d be met with a mullet. So if you’re truly after your mullet fix, maybe consider a change of scenery?

So for all you mullet rocking lads, maybe it’s time to embrace a short-back-and-sides or find a new haunt to have aggressively loud chats about your plans for next year’s ski trip.

You might want to check the date, you April Fools x

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