This student says he can smell and taste all names, so here’s what he thinks of yours

If my name was Dylan, Gertrude or Kate I would be changing it imminently

23-year-old Harry Gray has a condition called lexical-gustatory synaesthesia and it basically means he can taste, smell and feel words. When he went to uni he had no other choice but to move accommodation because he lived with three people who had highly unfortunate names. One was called Kirsty and their name makes Henry smell urine. Another was Duncan who symbolises a bird dipped in a smoky BBQ crisp packet. The final was Elijah who gives Henry the same sensation as licking an eyeball.

So here’s what your name smells, tastes and feels like according to Henry.

These are the best names according to Henry

Francesca – Silky warm chocolate cappuccino.

Safa – Espresso-soaked sponge cake.

Alice – Sliced apples.

Abby – Orange Hubba Bubba.

Ethan – Chewy mint sweets.

Hayley – Faint soft music.

Mitchell – Stretchy cheesy shell pasta.

Theo – Cotton ball in mouth.

Oscar – Citrus orange juice.

Marin – Smarties.

Bailey – Warm milk.

Dom – A chewy bonbon sweet.

Here are the absolute worst names which are worthy of being legally changed

Kirsty – Faint urine smell.

Mary – A pile of unwashed pink bed sheets faintly smelling of damp.

Kate – The sensation of burning myself on ice, like falling over on an ice rink and scraping your skin on dry ice.

Natalie – Like broken wooden splinters in my mouth.

Gertrude – Tastes like when you swallow back your own sick.

Daisy – Sickly sweet butter that’s been left out in the sun and it’s turned orange.

Arabella – A long smelly sock.

Danika – Sharp segments of ready salted crisps lodged in my throat.

Vicky – Like biting into shattered glass.

Brittany – Sensation of having my hair caught in something and pulled.

Harrison – It’s like an itch on my body that I can’t scratch, it’s everywhere and nowhere – I don’t even like saying ‘Harrison’.

Elijah – Like licking an eyeball – makes my skin crawl to say it.

Rupert – A beer burp.

Brad – The sensation of rope burn.

Dylan – A toilet seat.

Braydon – Genuinely provokes horse manure smeared on a wooden wall.

Teddy – Beige unwashed settee covers.

Hafsah – Feels like running my fingers through an old person’s greasy thin hair.

Ian – A horrible name! It’s like having a sticky, blocked ear, all gammy and waxy – I guess like the sensation of earache.

Warren – Feels like heartburn.

Virginia – Sticky vaseline all over your fingers.

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