Here are all the types of hot girl you’ll meet at uni this year
If you’re selling half your wardrobe on Vinted you’re definitely an oat milk hot girl
To be a hot girl you don’t need to own loads of expensive clothes or be classically beautiful (whatever that even means) you just need to adopt the hot girl mindset.
Hot girls divide very clearly into two broad categories: those born as hot girls and those that become them. The debate around which category your best friends and favourite celebs might fall into has been taking place on TikTok, but has become so contentious that many more categories have been created to accommodate hot girls of all shapes and sizes.
Despite being much more discreet, uni girls fall into their own distinct categories. They have different interests, fashion senses and milk preferences. And, importantly for the inexperienced fresher, they are scattered in halls across the UK.
Here are all the types of hot girl you’ll meet at uni this year:
The rural hot girl
As the name suggests, these hot girls grew up in towns where tractors were around every corner rather than clubs. Getting 2-for-£12 pitchers at the nearest Wetherspoons was not easy and required a commute using at least one type of public transport.
Perhaps this is what makes the rural hot girl so endearing, her excitement about city life is yet to wear off, and she hasn’t become jaded as a result of extortionate Uber prices or the lack of greenery.
Rural hot girls are most rife in universities such as Bath and Warwick but can easily be spotted in coffee shops across the country as some of the only Gen-Zs that still orders cow’s milk in their flat white.
Chances are, their uncle, grandad, or cousin is a dairy farmer, and they would be excommunicated if they were caught rejecting such a delicacy. The rural hot girl is hot precisely because they are determined to stay true to their roots; they are that humble brand of hot, making them all the more breathtaking.
The flare-wearing hot girl
This girl has a Pinterest board for everything: their bedroom, wardrobe, hair, and even their salad-inspo. What makes the flare-wearing hot girl so stunning is the careful curation of their aesthetic; nothing has been left to chance.
When it comes to nightlife, it may feel like the flare hot girl is everywhere; current trends (and ASOS next day delivery) have made flares a staple in any hot girls clubbing wardrobe.
As confusing as it may initially seem, not everyone wearing flares falls into this category, so they must be pointed out in the daytime. Part of their aesthetic is the dream of maintaining a work hard, play hard lifestyle. Therefore they spend just as much time in PopWorld as they do in the library. They often attend universities like Leeds or Edinburgh, and they will most likely get a first. The only 2:1 they know 2-for-1 Jagerbombs.
The oat milk hot girl
The oat milk hot girl is way more committed to the planet than their grades (which is fair enough because both seem to be in an equally catastrophic state). They are more likely to bring their travel mug to a lecture than their laptop or notepad and have somehow attained residency on every park bench in their uni city.
This type of hot girl is one of the easier ones to spot, although don’t try and look for them behind the wheel of a car because they definitely can’t drive. For an easy way to track them down, you can follow the trail of miscellaneous items falling out of the small holes in her mesh tote bag (whoever thought those would be a good idea?), or you can wait for her to ask to borrow a rollie because although she swore she’d give up smoking for good her vape has just run out of charge again. She’s forgotten how to function without it.
The ponytail hot girl
Surprisingly, the ponytail hot girl cannot be identified from their hairstyle alone. In fact, they could have a buzzcut and still belong in this category because the ponytail is a mindset rather than a specific physical attribute.
The mindset itself dates back much further than their university years to a time before they even know what UCAS was. The ponytail hot girl becomes who she will be for the foreseeable future when taking her GCSEs, and it is a metaphor for how her high pony used to swing, and she floated down the school corridors.
Although she has since abandoned that look favouring something more sophisticated, she remains the same girl inside and most likely still colour codes her folders in the same way.
Obviously, this hot girl prefers a campus uni like York or Lancaster because they prefer to feel like they know everyone and are uncomfortable with the idea of being just a small fish in a big pond. If you are looking for her on the weekend, she can be found going out for a pub lunch or to the bowling alley rather than regretting her life choices dancing on sticky club floors.
The mum friend hot girl
Freud might’ve been onto something here; there is just something so indescribably sexy about a nurturing woman. At the exact moment when your fridge shelf is running on empty, and you begin contemplating how bad it would be to just cut around the huge growth of mould on your Warburtons farmhouse loaf.
At your lowest point, this hot girl swoops in like a knight in shining armour to provide freshly-baked vegetable lasagna complete with garlic bread (and cheesy garlic bread at that!). Suddenly she is the most beautiful woman in the world.