TikTok thinks avocado tastes like a freshly-washed willy so I’m having plain toast now
You’ll never be able to eat an avocado the same way again
Ask someone a simple question – what does avocado taste like – and you’ll probably get the expected answers: creamy, slightly sweet but equally savoury, a bit fatty. But what they won’t tell you is what TikTok and Twitter are trying to convince everyone of – that avocados apparently taste like a freshly cleaned penis.
This has been rumoured for a couple of years now and it’s finally reached TikTok so people are talking about it. If you’ve never had a thoroughly cleaned willy in your mouth then firstly, I’m sorry and secondly, you unfortunately won’t be able to entirely grasp what this theory is about.
According to the internet, it has to be fresh out the shower because every unclean dingaling has its own distinctive taste apparently. But every washed pecker, on a worldwide scale, tastes exactly the same. It’s allegedly got something to do with the texture of the avocado as well, like that’s what makes the dick revert to tasting like one.
Wait, what does avocado taste like?? Where has this theory come from?
It started a couple years ago when someone started the rumour by tweeting: “Avocado tastes like clean dick pass it on”. And well, the yes, it has been passed on alright. I haven’t known peace since this Tweet first surfaced on my timeline.
From then on, people on TikTok started making videos about it. They’d share clips of them innocently enjoying an avocado and then they’ll zone out and give off pure war flash back vibes. This video went viral with over 23 million views and references the original Tweet from 2019 in the caption, “If you know you know”.
@gracie.malini have not known peace since reading that tweet ##avocado♬ original sound – Funny Tiktoks
Hold up, does it *actually* work?
Because of the viral TikTok, people are now finding the original tweet and naturally this has resulted in the good ol’ trial and error theory. There’s also an abundance of people now hesitating to eat avocado because, let’s be honest here, it’s a distinction no one really needed to know.
The Tab spoke to 25-year-old Harrison about Twitter’s theory that freshly washed dingalings taste like avocado. Harrison poetically told The Tab: “I’ve sucked a fair few dicks in my time, some nicer and some cleaner than others. And do you know what I haven’t thought once in all the times my mouth’s been full? Wow, this tastes like guacamole. That’s because dick tastes like dick, which tastes like skin. Basically, sucking dick tastes like you’re sucking on a finger.”
So there you have it. It tastes like you are sucking on a finger but it’s obviously a little bit warmer than a finger. But the reactions to this rumour are full of people losing their minds over the slightest hint it could be true.
One TikTok user heard the rumour and tried avocado. They took themselves back to a time when they also tasted a freshly washed phallus in order to accurately compare. At first they took the experiment very seriously and treated the avocado the same way they would a penis, you can watch the TikTok below to see what I mean. And finally by the end of it they rated the experience 10 out of 10.
@gioiafee10/10 would recommend🎉 #comedy #fypシ #freshavacado♬ Come Around – M.I.A.
Someone on Twitter wrote: “Ever since i read that ‘avocado tastes like clean dick’ Tweet, I’ve been craving some guacamole”. Whilst other people have said knowing the knowledge has ruined their preferred morning breakfast.
One person on Twitter has shared the fact since they found out the answer to what do avocados taste like, they can’t stop eating it. Unconfirmed whether “it” is dick or avocado though.
If you’ve never tasted penis before, and you wanted my personal opinion then you’re out of luck, I don’t particularly enjoy avocados. But I want to know what you think, leave your thoughts below: