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The British festival stereotypes of 2019: A starter pack guide

Warning: You might feel extremely attacked

| UPDATED

Every festival comes with its very own set of people who ruin it. At Boomtown, it's the middle class white kids in k-holes who spent the whole time getting sun burnt. At Lovebox, it's the London professionals dressed head to toe in ASOS, experiencing the entire event through their phone screen. At Glastonbury, it's the people who are really there for the bands.

Admit it though, you've spent months before the festival trying desperately to cultivate that very aesthetic that you so publicly hate (£1 ket spoon and bucket hat, thank youuuu eBay). You came to this festival to live it, to breathe it, to take photos at it, to video the sets you loved so you can post them on IOM when you get back, so everyone knows just how festy you are.

Either that or you're trying so desperately to avoid the festival stereotype that you've probably found yourself saying "glitter at festivals is basic" and smirking every time another Missguided shaggy jacket walks past.

Well I have some news for you, my friend: You are utterly and exactly the stereotype of the festival you went to this year, and no amount of moaning about the other people who went there will change that. There's a starter pack for you, and all your mates, who went to one of these 10 festivals of 2018. They are painfully accurate:

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