How to get someone to fancy you in literally 30 minutes, because you need it
Basically a guide on how to be Jada from First Dates Hotel
First Dates Hotel is the hottest thing on TV right now. And if you haven't seen the iconic episode involving two women called Kaylee and Jada, fighting over a fit guy named Charlie, you need to do that first as it's dramatic af.
Long story short, single mum Kaylee instantly falls in love with Charlie by the poolside and pies off her date that evening. She hopes that he doesn't like her date and gets with her instead. Charlie goes on his date with Jada and shock horror, he likes her way more. Awkward.
Just puttin it out there. @FirstDates hotel is the best program on TV right now 👀
— SIGMA (@sigmahq) January 22, 2018
But what people were most impressed by, was how quickly into the date Charlie was into Jada. Their chemistry was instant and you could feel that through the TV screen. And my question is: How??? How did she get him to like her so quickly?? Was it the way she greeted him? Or the outfit she wore? How did she knows what questions to ask first? Was it because she laughed consistently throughout the whole date? How do I become her?
So we spoke to We-Vibe's Relationship Expert Dr Becky Spelman, to tell us how to get someone to fancy you in less than 30 minutes. And here's what she told us:
The best way to get someone to like is to focus on them
Well that makes sense considering Jada barely said anything and Charlie was all over her. Dr Spelman said: "Everyone loves feeling interesting and intriguing, so do your best to really listen to them, and show your appreciation if they seem to be making an effort with their conversation."
Wear something that makes you feel comfortable and relaxed
Dr Spelman also recommented to stay away from the six-inch stilettos unless you can actually wear them without pain, and not to look like you're trying too hard.
She said: "You want to focus on your date, and not on your aching feet or whether or not your cufflinks match. Something sexy but casual is best, like a pretty dress and ballet shoes, or a freshly-pressed smart shirt with your 'good' jeans. "
Clarify arrangements beforehand so you're not left standing outside in the cold wondering where they are
If you are planning to wait in the bar, a text to explain your plan ensures that they won’t be left standing outside in the cold wondering where you are while you enjoy a drink.
A hand-shake and kiss-on-the-cheek combo is a good way to greet them
Dr Spelman said: "It’s friendly and inviting without being too forward. You will need to indicate your openness to engage with your date, without imposing immediately on their personal space."
Start with the simple questions, don't dive in with really deep ones.
Don't ask them about their deepest fears or exes. Start a conversation by asking them where they are from, where they grew up, what sort of work they do, and what their hobbies are.
Avoid discussing your ex and politics on a first date
Dr Spelman said: "It can be fun to get into a heated debate, but for now it’s important to get to know each other a little first. Don’t boast about your income—even if you have a great job and earn a lot of money, nobody likes a show-off."
Also, ensure that you don’t dominate the conversation. A conversation should be a dialogue, with both people contributing equally.
Laugh when it comes naturally, don't force it.
It never sounds “real” and can be very off-putting, plus creepy.
Your body language should be open and friendly
Dr Spelman stated: "Men in particular should watch their body language to ensure that they do not inadvertently appear aggressive or pushy." Yeah, that's not a good vibe.
She continued: "While both of you are presumably hoping for a good date and maybe the possibility of developing a romance, women are often nervous that their date might not respect their personal integrity, or might be aggressive.
"By giving their date her personal space and only touching her if she is clearly comfortable with the situation, a man can set her mind at ease, and help her to relax in his company."