We gave Liverpool uni accommodations dating profiles and they’re painfully accurate

If Liverpool’s uni accommodations had dating profiles, you’d know exactly which ones would be your type.

From the city-centre social butterflies to the private halls with suspiciously nice gyms, every Liverpool student accommodation has its own personality and red flags. Here’s exactly what their bios would say.

Greenbank, 18

Yes, I live three miles from uni. No, I don’t want to talk about the 699 bus.

I’m outdoorsy, social and have more green space than I know what to do with.

Looking for someone who enjoys massive pres, sports and will ride the 699 for me.

Love: House parties, the gym, summer on the grass.

Hate: Anyone saying “it’s basically in town”.

My type: Someone who doesn’t mind walking 15 minutes to Smithdown for a £3.50 pint.

Crown, 19

Looking for someone who appreciates convenience.

I have an ensuite, a central location and absolutely no interest in walking more than five minutes to anything.

Love: Pres, gap-year students, Guild nights, being the first person to hear about everything happening on campus.

Hate: Paying for an Uber when the city centre is literally outside my door.

Green flag: You can easily find your way home from Concert Square.

True Student, 19

I’m the private accommodation friend who has their life together.

Gym? Yes.
Social spaces? Yes.
Nice room? Obviously.

Looking for someone who appreciates the finer things in student life.

Dealbreaker: Calling my rent “reasonable”.

Vine, 18

I’m sophisticated. I’m central. I have a café downstairs.

Basically, I’m everything you thought university accommodation was going to be before you moved in.

Love: Having everything on my doorstep and convincing myself I’ll actually use the study spaces.

Hate: People from Crown Place acting like they’re better than me.

Looking for someone who can cook but won’t leave the kitchen looking like a crime scene.

Atlantic Point, 18

I’m the friend who is always up for going out but will complain about the walk home.

Love: Flat pres, city centre nights and meeting someone else’s entire flat in the corridor.

Looking for someone who doesn’t mind hearing “whose flat are we going to?” at 10pm.

Melville Grove, 18

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Don’t know why everyone forgets about me but it’s fine. I’m mysterious.

I offer the authentic “first year living with strangers” experience.

Love: Being close to everything, chill flat nights and not being the centre of attention.

Hate: People asking “Do you mean Smellville?”

Marybone, 19

I know what you’re thinking. Yes, I am that Marybone.

I’m close to everything, surrounded by students and have seen things that cannot be repeated on a dating app.

Love: Pre-drinks, city centre living and being able to roll out of bed and somehow make it to a 9am.

Hate: People asking if I’m actually haunted.

Looking for someone with a strong liver and weak standards.

Philharmonic Court, 19

I’m not saying I’m cultured, but I literally live next to the Philharmonic.

Looking for someone who enjoys a good night out but also likes pretending they’re going to have a productive Sunday.

Love: Being close to campus, Georgian Quarter walks and making questionable financial decisions.

My toxic trait: Thinking a 20-minute walk is “basically nothing”.

iQ, 20

I have a private bathroom and I’m not afraid to tell you about it.

Love: Ensuite life, meeting people from different unis and being able to walk everywhere.

Looking for someone who won’t judge me for spending £200 a week on a room that is basically the size of a shoebox.

Private House, 21

Looking for 4-7 people who are willing to live with mould, questionable plumbing and a landlord who takes three weeks to reply.

Love: Massive kitchen pres, garden parties and paying significantly less than the people in private halls.

Hate: Bins, bills, cleaning and discovering that one of your housemates has never used a washing machine.

My type: Someone who knows what a TV licence is and won’t try to meet over summer.

Looking for: Serious relationship (September – June).

Byrom Point, 18

I’m conveniently located and have absolutely no intention of becoming emotionally attached.

Love: Being surrounded by other students, quick walks to lectures and spontaneous nights out.

Hate: 9ams.

My ideal date: Spoons, because I’m a student and I have a budget.