If you’ve not done 8/12 of these Freshers’ Week bucket list things, you’re doing it wrong

So, you’ve made your parents drive you up to uni, and you’ve tried to move all your stuff into what is presumably a box room. The fairy lights are badly hung, and so far you’ve only consumed own brand vodka mixed with squash because you forgot to register and therefore your student loan hasn’t come in.

Bonding with your new flatmates is going well since you all loooove techno and have planned already to go to both the Ibiza opening and closing parties next year. But what’s next? How do you complete Freshers’ Week? With this handy Freshers’ Week bucket list you’ll be sure to know you did it right.

1. Only consume pesto pasta

Not just a myth, but truly pesto pasta is the staple student diet. For Freshers’ Week, why not give your body a head start and get used to it early. If your loan has come in, why not treat yourself and add cheese?

2. Add everyone you meet on Instagram (or Snapchat)

I don’t discriminate over your social media of choice. You have to simply add every person you interact with, promise to meet up the next day, and then actually just view their stories until they’re married with two kids, a sausage dog and a Volvo.

3. Put plastic bags on all of your kitchen lights

If you have a Sainsbury’s bag, you’re on the money. Create some ambiance and add some class to your life.

4. Experience all your welcome lectures still slightly drunk

This is a rite of passage. Wake up, get a very strong coffee and try and walk there in a straight line.

5. Go to, and hate, the Freshers’ club nights

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These should be renamed team building. Go and listen to 2018 dance music with your new friends, and complain about how awful it is and how all the clubs at home are better. Soon you will graduate to all the actual decent clubs in your city.

Bonus points if these club nights include UV paint or foam.

6. Go to every society welcome event, and only go back to one

The one you should go back to is obviously your local Tab.

7. Get Freshers’ Flu

Once you’ve ticked this box, grab some paracetamol, Berocca and multi-vitamins. Soup is your best friend.

And maybe put the BuzzBall’s down.

8. Visit your campus/student union bar

Scout that place out and work out how to get the most merry for the cheapest price. And if you don’t like beer, I’d advise you get to like it now.

9. Throw your first pre-drinks or flat party

That kitchen won’t stay spotless for long. Invite your new friends round and throw a party, because there is simply no better way to get to know people than being crammed into a hot and sweaty kitchen with them.

10. Fill your camera roll with pictures of your uni buildings

Discovery of the difference between uni and university. Fill your family group chat with pretty pictures of your uni buildings to both remind your family you exist and let them know you’re not dead

11. Bond with your flatmates

Have dinner together, watch a film if you have the luxury of a TV. Tick this off your bucket list to make the rest of the year much easier.

12. Do not complete the required reading

And finally on the Freshers’ Week bucket list, start how you mean to go on for the next three years. Don’t bother and hope for the best.