Everything about British festivals that Americans would absolutely loathe

We’ve all seen the videos of influencers at Coachella making the rounds, and the comment sections are flooding with jokes about how Americans would not be able to stand a UK festival. We Brits tend to have more grit than those over the pond, but what are the parts about British festivals that Americans would hate?

The weather

@leedsplussocial

A windy night at Leeds Fest delayed opening and has closed two stages for the day! These were the scenes this morning at the main campsite at Bramham Park – with Leeds Festival organisers delaying opening the main arena until mid-afternoon. The BBC Radio One Stage and Aux Stage (for content creators) won’t open at all today (Friday) due to the damage cause by Storm Lilian. People were forced to sit on top of their tents to stop them flying away in the early hours of this morning – and damage to festival fences and signage could be seen on the campsite, with teams working hard to fix things. Organisers hope that most events at Leeds Festival will return to normal tomorrow 🤞 #Leeds #LeedsFestival #LeedsFest #storm #leedsfestival2024

♬ original sound – Leeds+

It goes without saying that the weather in LA is the polar opposite of the weather that seems to plague Glastonbury each year. Whilst the Americans suffered with high heat and sandstorms, Leeds in 2024 genuinely looked like an apocalypse. With 60mph winds, TikTok’s of tents flying away circulated. Many of the acts had to be cancelled due to issues with the BBC Radio 1 and Aux stages, and later the Chevron stage.

Endless mud

@ravestationhq

Coachella could never 👀😂 #RaveStation #TinThePark #ScottishTikTok #GlasgowTikTok #Coachella #Coachella2025

♬ original sound – Jerry

It comes hand in hand with the weather, but the mud is a whole different kettle of fish. I went to Lost Village in 2023, and my friend’s cowboy boot soles were left behind in the mud – RIP.  However, that little anecdote doesn’t even cover it.

Just look at what Creamfields looked like in 2023. People were having mud baths and slip and slide competitions. Many people would pay good money to see Coachella influencers try to tackle British mud. I would bet they all leave to go home within the first five minutes.

The camping experience

Most Read

Everything the cast of Young Sheldon have been up to one year after that emotional finale

Lily Phillips reveals the one thing men at her events are banned from doing with her

All the gross and unfiltered videos Bonnie Blue has posted from her challenge with Julia Filippo

I think by now we’ve all seen that video of the guy at Coachella literally bringing his whole apartment into his tent. The man brought a rug with him for decoration. Moreover, most Coachella goers stay somewhere else in LA and don’t bother to camp. Part timers, in my opinion!

I genuinely believe that a man would be sent into a stroke if he saw my friend’s camping situation last year. Hayden was working at Wilderness Festival and bought a small tent from ASDA. What Hayden forgot to check was whether the tent had all the parts before he brought it with him. Upon opening the tent, when he was attempting to pitch it, Hayden discovered the box had no poles or pegs with it. All that he had bought was the outer shell, and someone must’ve stolen the other parts. I honestly don’t think an American could cope.

The food situation

After finding out that there was a Nobu at Coachella, I think most of them would be shocked to find out the majority of us survive off crushed crisps and squashed chocolate bars. Us Brits wake up hungover in a pool of hot sweat, or rain water and reach for what we think is a lukewarm bottle of water. Only to realise, after you’ve chugged it, that it’s the vodka you decanted into a plastic bottle to smuggle in. You then eat a squashed banana and get on with your day, hoping the intoxication you should soon be feeling will mask the hunger.

The cleanliness (0r lack of)

@gittemary

no but it’s actually so messed up 😩 (send this to your festival-going friends as an aggressive reminder) this is both people that need to be better, but the responsibility is also on the festivals; when cleaning isn’t mandatory, the wasteful behaviour is encouraged – so how about cleaning up after yourself a requirement when you book a camping spot? @roskildefestival what’s the plan?? side note: but who can afford to buy things just to throw them away like this? 🧐 #festival #roskilde #rf24 #wasteful #climatechange #pollution #waste #plastic #sustainability #musicfestival

♬ WTF (feat. Amber Van Day) – HUGEL

This is one of the reasons many Brits, particularly the clean girls, don’t participate in British festival season. The shower situation, or in fact, the no shower situation. Although all festivals have shower facilities, the queues to have one in the morning are usually insanely long. You just about have the weakness to pull yourself out of your tent, let alone haul yourself over to the other side of the campsite just to have a stone cold shower.

Like me, the average Brit will just bring a huge packet of baby wipes, plenty of deodorant and if you want a top tip, some antibacterial spray. Be sure to pray yourself with some cheap body spray and dry shampoo, and you’re good to go! Although I can’t quite picture the Coachella girlies doing this.

Our politics

It was great to see Clairo bring out Bernie Sanders, however, this seemed relatively new for American festivals. Every year, Glastonbury brings out a left wing speaker onto the Pyramid Stage. Stormzy famously performed in a knife proof vest to bring attention to the rise of knife crime in the UK. British festivals often emerged from subcultures, like Glastonbury with hippies.

Although Woodstock emerged similarly, largely speaking, the UK festivals seem to be more progressive. Even this year, Kneecap’s performance was cut from streaming when they shared support for Palestine.

The lack of OTT outfits

Many of the outfits at Coachella this year were more low key and toned down. However, influences such as Madeline White and Tara Yummy still turned up. Whilst the girls look great, this is rare at UK festivals. Most of us stick to minimal outfits like a top and trousers. We established at the beginning of this article, the weather is often pretty bad, and you have to wear more practical outfits.

Despite the chaos, I’d take a British festival with horrendous weather over the bland and sanitised Coachella. I can endure a bit of bad weather, plus I’d not even be able to drink at the festival this year!