Pints of Fun to no longer be sold at Glasgow University Union due to national VK shortage

In a shocking turn of events, The Glasgow Tab can exclusively reveal that Glasgow University Union (GUU) is set to discontinue its iconic Pints of Fun.

A GUU source claimed the axing of the infamous drink was due to an unprecedented national VK shortage.

Other Students’ Unions across the UK such as Bristol and Lancaster have also had to scrap VKs from their menus.

This breaking news is expected to send shockwaves through the student community, with one SU worker saying “it’s like [VKs] have disappeared”.

The crisis reportedly stemmed from a sudden and unexplained production halt at VK’s main manufacturing facility.

The official explanation has cited “logistical challenges”, however, it has been reported that the shortage is due to Cardiff students buying the UK’s stock for their Wednesday sports nights.

Sophie, who is responsible for buying in new VK crates for GUU, claims to have received cryptic automated responses when enquiring about stock levels, and attempts to contact VK’s parent company have additionally been met with silence. “It’s like they’ve just disappeared,” she told us. “No one is answering calls. No one is explaining anything.”

A GUU committee member, speaking to The Glasgow Tab under strict anonymity, confirmed the bombshell decision: “Its true, Pints of Fun will stop being served as of the beginning of April.

“We haven’t announced it publicly yet, but Pints of Fun will no longer be available. We’re still working out how to break the news to students, but this is a situation entirely out of our hands.

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“People need to prepare for the reality that VKs might not return for a long time—if at all.”

The source admitted that the Union had not yet decided on the best way to communicate the news, making our sources’ conversations with The Glasgow Tab a major leak.

“I really shouldn’t be saying this yet, but students deserve to know what’s coming,” the GUU committee member explained.

With official confirmation now in hand, we reached out to students for their immediate reactions.

Third year politics student and self-proclaimed Pint of Fun enthusiast Rachel was left in shock: “This is the worst news I’ve ever received. You’ve properly ruined my day! How are we supposed to function on a night out without them?”

Fresher Tom Brown, initially shocked, quickly saw an opportunity to capitalise on the shortage by selling his stock at inflated prices.

“It’s basic supply and demand,” he said. “If the GUU can’t provide, the underground market will.”

So, if you’re desperate for a homemade Pint of Fun, head over to Murano where Mr. Brown’s overpriced VKs are ready for sale.

But not everyone is taking the news lightly. Millie, a particularly stressed fourth year law student, was furious: “I was so excited to finish my dissertation and finally enjoy some Pints of Fun at the Union,” she said.

“They better introduce something just as good because beer just isn’t my thing! Thankfully, I’m graduating soon.”

Student outrage is expected to explode once GUU officially announces the axe and it has been reported that students are already discussing plans for an official march – tentatively titled “March for Fun”.

For now, The Glasgow Tab remains the first and only source bringing this developing story to light. As the situation unfolds, one thing is certain: our beloved Students’ Union will never be the same again.

You should probably check the date, you April fools!