Inside the twisted life of Kitty Menendez, and what mother of Lyle and Erik was really like

Before Monsters was released on Netflix, you might not have known too much about José and Kitty Menendez. But now, they and their sons Lyle and Erik are who everyone is talking about.

José and Mary Louise “Kitty” Menendez were killed by Lyle and Erik in their family home on August 20th, 1989. In March 1990, the Menendez brothers were arrested for their parents’ murders and placed on trial. They were found guilty, and have been in prison ever since.

Throughout the Netflix series, Kitty is shown in many different lights as a mother, sometimes as though she was frightened of José, and other times as though she was obsessed with him, and hated her children. So, here’s a deep dive into what Kitty was really like, from reports about her during her life, and statements made in the trial of Lyle and Erik.

via Netflix

Kitty Menendez was born in 1941 and was from Illinois

Mary Louise “Kitty” Andersen was born on October 14th, 1941, in Oak Lawn, Illinois. She was raised in Chicago, where she competed in beauty pageants. Kitty was the youngest of four children in her family, and is described as having had a middle-class upbringing.

Her parents divorced when she was young, and this is said to have made Kitty “depressed and withdrawn” from an early age. Despite this, she still aspired to be an actor. and enrolled at Southern Illinois University to study communications.

Kitty started dating José Menendez in college

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José Menendez was born in Cuba and in 1960, aged 16, he moved to the US on his own to build a better life. Kitty met José in a debate class at Southern Illinois University, and they soon fell in love. Kitty was two years older than José.

José then made plans to move to New York and pursue a career in business, and ahead of this move he proposed to Kitty. After marrying in 1963, José and Kitty relocated to New York together. Kitty worked as a teacher, until she gave birth to Lyle and then Erik, after which José asked Kitty to stay at home and raise their sons full time.

The real Menendez family, via Court Archives

Kitty was apparently an ‘obnoxious’ and ‘neglectful’ parent

From an outsider perspective it could have been thought that Kitty Menendez was a glamorous housewife and devoted mother to her children, Lyle and Erik. She’s been described as having always “wanted to win” and for her kids to be “number one.”

On one hand it’s been reported Kitty was always very supportive of her sons’ careers in sports, and attended every tennis match they ever played, but other reports from the trial of Lyle and Erik said both parents were neglectful towards their sons.

A former neighbour of the family, and tennis coach for Lyle and Erik, testified and said José and Kitty were “obnoxious, careless and dangerous parents.” LA Times reported the neighbour said Kitty Menendez was so “negligent” that when Erik Menendez cut his head on a trip to the mall, she finished buying a pair of shoes before taking him to the hospital for stitches.

José was accused of cheating on Kitty multiple times

via Netflix

As was shown in Monsters on Netflix, José Menendez was accused of cheating on Kitty multiple times throughout their marriage. According to Dominick Dunne, writing for Vanity Fair, Kitty was a “deeply unhappy woman” and was “pathetic” in the light of her husband’s affairs.

His report said: “You never hear a bad word about Kitty. Back in Princeton, people remember her on the tennis courts with affection. Those who knew her in the later years of her life felt affection too, but they also felt sorry for her. She was a deeply unhappy woman, and was becoming a pathetic one. Her husband was flagrantly unfaithful to her, and she was devastated by his infidelity.

“There has been much talk since the killings of Jose’s having had a mistress, but that mistress was by no means his first, although he was said to have had ‘fidelity in his infidelity’ in that particular relationship. Kitty fought hard to hold her marriage together, but it is unlikely that José would ever have divorced her.”

Was Kitty Menendez really an alcoholic who attempted to take her own life?

via Netflix

It seems as though a lot of what was portrayed in Monsters on Netflix about Kitty was based on true story. It’s been reported Kitty did have a history with drugs and alcohol, she had grown dependent on José, and it was true that she attempted to take her own life before being killed by Lyle and Erik.

After the death of José and Kitty, Vanity Fair reported: “Kitty called Jose at his office every 30 minutes, sometimes just to tell him what kind of pizza to bring home for supper. She was a dependent person.” The report also described Kitty as “very warm,” but said she also “had a history of drinking and pills.”

A friend of Kitty’s explained to the publication that Kitty Menendez attempted to take her own life three separate times, which Kitty’s therapist corroborated on the stand during the brothers’ trial.

Another said: “I knew Kitty at company dinners and cocktail parties. They used to say about Kitty that she was Jose with a wig. She was always very much at his side, part of his vision, dedicated to the cause, whatever the cause was.”

A woman who is said to have been Kitty’s closest friend described how she had “let herself go” in the years before her death, was dying her hair a “blonde that didn’t suit her” and was attending aerobics classes in an attempted to “get back in shape” after gaining weight. The friend corroborated that Kitty began to “hate” her sons, Lyle and Erik.

Monsters: The Lyle and Erik Menendez Story is available on Netflix now. For all the latest Netflix news, drops and memes like The Holy Church of Netflix on Facebook.

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• So, who was Lyle Menendez’s girlfriend Jamie and where is she now?

• Explained: What Lyle Menendez’s short time at Princeton University was actually like

• Where is John Sweeney now? Dominique Dunne murder case brought up in Monsters on Netflix