The Eurovision 2015 Drinking Game

Love it or hate it, the glittery-electropop-power-ballard-cheese-fest that is Eurovision is back (yes it has been a whole year).

While half of you probably want to hide under your beds until it’s over, the other half will be enjoying Graham Norton’s questionable jokes.

But of course we couldn’t expect anyone to sit through the entire three and a half hour spectacle live from Vienna, without suitable refreshment.

So even if you’re still feeling like it “isn’t really your thing”; pipe down, pour a drink, don a costume, embrace the cheese and liven up your evening with this Eurovision drinking game.

Just don’t blame us if you don’t make it to Belgium.

You will need at least this much booze.

Introduction

• Drink every time you recognise a Vienna landmark in a promotional video.
• Clink glasses every time Conchita Wurst is on screen.
• Waterfall when Graham Norton says something he is “contractually obliged to” and only finish when he does.

Performances

• Three fingers whenever a performer blows a kiss at the camera.
• Drink every time a performer has a moment of sexual tension with a backing dancer.
• Swap drinks with someone every time a performer shakes their fist in passion.
• Drink every time the performers are lifted up into the air by a stage prop.
• Swap a piece of clothing with the person on your right when words are forgotten, there is a wardrobe malfunction, the music won’t play etc.
• Drink if there are grannies in traditional costumes on stage.
• Eat a sobering crisp if a song is named after a piece of food. Belarus 2014 we’re looking at you (that’s cheesecake for those who don’t remember).
• Have a shot if a country’s entry refuses to sing in English.
• Drink every time a song has a key change. Expect many.

Costumes are necessary

Voting

• Drink for ‘nul points’, and repeat it loudly in a sexy French accent.
• Have a drink every time the UK scores pity points.
• All change places and drink whenever a new country takes the lead.
• Down your drink if the UK wins (they won’t).
• If Sweden wins (and they probably will) down your drink.

Alternative Rules to get you Equally Wankered

• Drink every time Graham Norton makes a sarcastic comment.
• Any time the word “Australia” is mentioned, everyone must add to the dirty pint. If anyone makes a xenophobic comment, they have to down it. Don’t ruin Eurovision with your mean spirits.
• Take a swig whenever there’s a “political vote”, i.e. a country gives top marks to its neighbour even if the song is garbage. This one isn’t for the faint-hearted.