Stop pouting, you look ridiculous

Even the ducks would reject you

You don’t look hot. Your cheek bones look no more defined. And I’m not going to kiss you.

Nowadays, pouting is generally used in the ironic sense; in a way creating a flashback to the Lambrini fueled days of 2012 when the “squad” would all line up and pull off their best goldfish impressions with a vacant intoxicated gaze towards the camera.


This trend sadly never died, and is no longer exclusive to the infants of the binge drinking world.

Many here at York continue to draw influence from the on-campus wildlife for selfies, even into adulthood.

Tab York editor doing her duck call. Quack quack

Pouting isn’t just a female phenomenon. Time and time again you can catch “top lads” having a “cheeky pout” in night clubs.

It’s good people have the humour to laugh at themselves when looking back on last night’s snaps (which is most cases), but those who are committed to the puckered-lip cause seriously need to reevaluate their lives.

Admittedly some of us can pull it off, but some of us isn’t all of us.

Pouting has arguably become hipster, as the ironically stupid way to pose for a photograph.

Just so damn hipster

And then you get things like this, which in the eyes of humour is somewhat acceptable.

A line needs to be drawn. Whatever happened to a good old smile? Surely you want to look cheery in the company of your friends, not as though you’re sucking on a double-A battery.

It’s not sexy, but I suppose it’s a laugh.

We asked why people pout in night clubs:

Olivia Lee, first year Criminology

“Because if I smile people can tell I’m totally fucked.”

Laura Tait, first year History

“To avoid smiling like a Cheshire cat and gaining five chins.”

Robin Bolt, first year Maths

“To look piff and get some biatches.”

Pout, because that’ll help you get laid

Pouting remains something which should have been buried long ago along with Bebo and Frosty Jacks.

I suppose it’s easier to pull off than a cheesy grin once you’ve smashed five trebles.

But those who continue to use it as an expression of being “cool” need to take a visit to their local park and catch soggy bread crumbs with the rest of the ducks.