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A definitive list of the reasons why everyone should admit pres are better than clubbing

When you finish the night looking like a Salem witch survivor it’s only your nearest and dearest who see

In recent years the popularity of prees has increased exponentially to the point where they may even eclipse the actual act of going out clubbing itself.

The definition of pre-drinking is stated as "the act in which one consumes alcohol prior to attending an event at which alcoholic beverages may or may not be served”, but every socially aware adolescent knows it is so much more than that.

Pres are a rite of passage for every British youth. Here is the conclusive list of reasons why you are better off holding a long prees than going out clubbing:

1. A tale as old as time – it is cheaper

£6.50 entry into Crisis can get you a burger and two portions of chips from Hub 54, two annual memberships to Buddhist society or 26 Freddos (adjusted for inflation). We haven’t even factored in the costs of taxis or the hand and foot it costs to buy a double in the club. There's something about a cheap Nothern night out that still dents the bank account. Tesco value all the way.

2. Don't worry about beer goggles

If you graced the doors of the club the night before, you'll wake up to find your mates possessing incriminating photos of you lipsing a solid 4 in Ink. That being said, it is a double-edged sword which swings both ways because you could hook up with a house mate.

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Tragic on the dance floor

3. You won't lose your mates

It’s a lot easier to keep an eye on your mate who mistakes clubbing for The Great Escape in a tiny Lenton kitchen. You're either slamming tequila or liquids in the kitchen and monging out in the living room. In comparison, the club is a mysterious and ghastly place, one that is fucking hard to venture alone when lost.


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5. Your ears won’t bleed from Mr Brightside

This is Nottingham, there’s bound to be a South London bloke in your group who reckons God was born in Croydon. Get him on the decks (I hear Londoners are given a pair along with their Little Red Book at birth).

6. Guaranteed a good night

You know the people at pres are going to be stellar because they’re your mates and you decided you enjoyed their company a long time ago. You don’t have to hype yourself up for Wednesday sport social nights at Crisis only to find yourself surrounded by exhibit As, knowing full well they have dead chat.

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Suited up for pres, just liek they should be

7. The winner

You can socialise. You can sing and embrass yourself. You can get food when no one else wants to. You can sleep when no one else is tired. No gun fingers, no mosh pits, no sweating – just a decent conversation. Ground-breaking stuff.

8. Pres are character building

The ritual humiliation of ‘Never have I ever’ or the manual dexterity you learn from ROF is unrivalled. In pres you can clearly identify who needs a chaser with their shot. If it’s you, don’t breed, natural selection made a mistake. Our sincere apologies.

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Quiet night in halls

Nottingham is held in high regard when it comes to good nights out, so the truth is we will never cease to grace the doors of Pom Pom because there is a standard of excellence to uphold. But a messy night in will always hold precedence over a soft night out.