I went out the night before my 9am exam…
If your reactions are slower than your revision, something has gone wrong.
WARNING: DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME
My exams aren’t done but I sure am. I haven’t made any mildly questionable decisions in almost 6 weeks. I need to begin to question dropping out of university again. I need to question why I am like this. I require embarrassment and regret and a head ache. And that is what I got.
How many times in university can you say you truly, deeply sacrificed your education. Not just a bit late starting on revision, or spent too long procrastinating in your mates room. I mean truly, deeply made a decision that could ruin your whole degree. Mine was zero, therefore I decided I needed to at least attempt to ruin my sleep, future career prospects and life. Yes Olivia, you go girl.
Last night was the first celebratory ‘exams are over night’ (ironic much?) and I was desperate to go out. I had considered it, and swiftly shun away such demonic thoughts. Told myself over and over again to be smart. You got into Uni, you must have at least half a brain. During A levels, I was conscientious, quiet and way too responsible to make any awful decisions regarding my education. But hey, I’m paying £9,000 to embarrass myself, be hungover and order dominos at least 4 times a week so why not continue this downward spiral. Therefore, without parental supervision and a little persuasion from my roommate (does she hate me?) I decided it was a good idea to go out the night before my final exam.
Having come to this awful decision over a very formal and life defining meeting at dinner with the crew, I rushed back to my room and began revising/ internally crying whilst questioning what had happened to me and my decisions. Did someone give me frontal lobotomy without my realising?
As a last legacy, I decided to document my thoughts over these final few hours on this earth, before my mum found out what I had done and literally murdered me.
18:55– WHY AM I LIKE THIS? How am I supposed to learn a whole module in 3 hours? I’m not even concerned about being hungover. My main concern is planning an escape route from the exam hall.
19:30– Update: I still cannot remember anything. Why do my lecturers think I care what manuscript Beowulf comes from?
20:38– Wondering why I decided this was a good idea. 1) I cannot drink and therefore 2) I won’t have any fun, because dealing with drunk people is like herding sheep
20:44– My roomate told me she read an article about how Vodka is good for memory. She’s a medic therefore if she believes it, it must be legit.
21:27– I have got my outfit and glitter on. Hopefully my future will be as bright as my cheekbones.
At 22:00, with tears in my eyes I had to leave my room and go meet my friends. However, in order to lessen the guilt that was crippling me inside, I came to the conclusion that as an Activities Rep, technically it is my duty to fully participate in all activities in the university. Therefore it’s my job, sorry degree xx
There are two types of friends in this world…
We eventually got to the club, and I was sensibly sober and was surprised at how stupid drunk people are. Well I can’t really talk after the life decision I carried out…
The club was really fun, although in the back of my mind was constantly the fact that I knew I had an exam and unlike every single person there, I couldn’t actually be a laid back as I wanted. That didn’t stop me downing tequila like it was liquid luck though…
After arriving back significantly less sober than when I left, my roomate left no time in 1) squeezing every secret of my life out of me and 2) laughing at me because it is significantly difficult to stand up after Tequila apparently… I came to the conclusion that I was in fact not drunk, (obviously). I don’t know what I was, but if that’s sober, we need to have words with the oxford dictionary about their definitions
2:45– “I have to be up in 3 hours and 45 mins… Fab”
2:47– “Dear children, Tequila is not your friend, I promise.”
2:49– “If you write down that you’re sober, you’re probably drunk.”
2:53-” WHY AM I LIKE THIS?”
With the prospect of getting up at 6:30, I was beginning to wonder what had I done. The damage was truly done. Nothing could resolve this. I went to bed and I of course awoke in a panic, fearful I had slept through my exam. Low key wanted to. That’s what happens when you’re late to the rebellious teen phase of your life.
I managed to get up, and somehow make it to breakfast. In all honesty, the hardest part of that morning was the fact Starbucks wasn’t even open. A hungover 9am exam is bad enough, but without a basic white girls medicine, it is so much worse.
We got in the exam. I didn’t die, throw up or faint. So 1-0 to Olivia.
A miracle occurred in that exam. I, for the first time ever, was able to somehow answer the questions…I sat in that exam hall rather smug with myself. Not many people can claim they went out and passed their exam. See, I told you Vodka is the way forward.
In hindsight, it was a raucous, crazy decision. Not one for the weak and I would certainly not recommend it. It was fun, crazy and highly adventurous and not something I’m not likely to forget. I didn’t even need to nap during the day. If that doesn’t spell out hardcore or idiotic, I don’t know what will.
It was a great memory but nights out truly are better when you have nothing to worry about, least of all the key themes in Beowulf.
As I write this and look back, I genuinely get worried and stressed thinking about how close I came to jeopardising my degree. What was I thinking?!
9/10 would not recommend. 1/10 would because why not live like the crazy teenager you’ve always wanted to be?