Sorry, but when will people realise that leopard print shouldn’t be as popular as it is?

Ladies, lets talk leopard print

It’s beyond time to declare a national emergency. This plague has been spreading across the UK. First targeting the edgiest of gals it seamlessly infected the wannabe indie ladies out there and has come to – hopefully – it’s final resting place, the basic bitch.

This pandemic is leopard print

It is speculated to have been triggered by a few of the finest fashionistas rummaging through their mum's wardrobe and pulling out a leopard print dress that she only wears for the occasional girls cocktail night so definitely wouldn’t mind if it got borrowed – right? Urban Outfitters was hot on their heels as they’re pros at stealing from past decades; they have been doing it since the 70s after all. Within days the UO brand was seared into millions of leopard print items from flares to mesh tops to hairbands. The exponential growth had begun.

Hard earned money (80% chance it was daddy’s wages though) simply poured into Urban Outfitters' profit margin as the items were swept off the shelves and into uni accommodation closets. At this point the wannabe indie girls were entirely in the clasp of leopard print with no hope of return as New Look, H&M, Primark and finally even Tesco got on the scene.

Disaster struck. The basic bitches had been seduced by the charms of a splash of animal print here and there, and now it is nigh on impossible to go on a night out without being tripped by an oversized leopard flare or engulfed by a furry – printed – coat. On special occasions (often Beaverworks related) you may even see someone in full leopard, squeezed into a daring catsuit or co-ord set. But will this tyranny of leopard print ever end?

Guess the target market?

The natural cycle of fashion dictates that as soon as the basic bitches (and in this case, Tesco) have got their perfectly manicured hand on radical clothing, the real edgy girls stash it until it becomes ironic to wear, but this hasn’t happened with leopard print. It is now commonplace to see the two ends of the spectrum embrace the fashion choice with open arms.

Perhaps the concept of leopard print defies social norms and has created a bridge over the troubled waters of fashion-based social stratification through which unity and peace amongst womankind can be negotiated. However, we’ve all seen Mean Girls, that just ain’t happening.

Perhaps it’s now a battle of will-power

Perhaps both the edgy gal and the basic bitch feel they exude more leopard characteristics than the other and therefore have rights to the garms. Who is more sultry? More mysterious? More intriguing? …More fierce? Having just passed Val- sorry- Galentines Day we all know that many of the more basic of gals don’t need no man (a glass or five of prosecco will suffice) which surely makes them fierce af.

However, when it comes to mysteriousness, the edgy girls win it hands down. I mean does anyone really know why some of them have shaved their heads? Some claim practicality, and some claim a stand against the patriarchy and some claim attention seeking but truthfully, we’re all left a little confused and slightly in awe.

The battle feels pretty evenly matched so maybe those of us baffled and bored of this trend will just have to wait it out. At least until everyone realises leopard print belongs where it started, being worn by a middle-aged woman on a girls night out attempting to look ten years younger (or by a tween trying to look five years older) not around campus.