Met outstrips uni in sex survey

Uni ranks lowest ever in latest report on student sex habits


 

The University of Leeds has placed a flacid 76th out of 101 in a recently published survey of students’ sex habits.

The result, which was announced in a studentbeans.com survey, is a stark drop from the 20th position we all worked hard for last year.

Met – compensating for what they lack both on the rugby pitch and in the exam room – romped their way to 28th, though this was a sharp decline from their record 4th last year.

The appropriately named Bangor enjoys being on top of the poll, while Essex are forced into taking the bottom position.

The survey also revealed subject-specific habits, with Economists bucking the stereotype and finishing highest, while Environmental Science got the wooden spoon.

General student reaction has been one of disappointment, with third year Economist Stephen Taylor remarking: “I feel like I’ve been let down. I’ve been doing my utmost to improve our position but it seems some people just aren’t playing ball.”

No official explanation has been given and the Union are declining to comment on the result, but The Tab is treating the issue with the seriousness it deserves, looking at any possible causes and solutions.

We can only hope you’re doing your part.