What’s the funniest thing that has happened to you on a one night stand?

Guessing they didn’t get the call back


Sometimes things just don’t go to plan. One night stands are a myriad of potential social pot-holes, embarrassing accidents, and cringeworthy moments.

Here’s some particularly juicy stories.

Charlotte, 2nd year, English and History

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“I came back with a guy who I knew, but met him on Tinder initially. We were having sex with the lights off and halfway through I went to the kitchen to get potato waffles and turkey dinosaurs out of the oven for a little mid sex snack.

“I turn the light on in the kitchen I see that my hands and body are covered in blood. I then go and turn the light on in the bedroom and tell the guy that something that had happened but it wasn’t me that was bleeding. He had broken his banjo string. My sheets were ruined.”

Ouch.

Henry, 2nd year, Ancient History

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“I had just had sex with a girl and she flat out refused to let me got to sleep, I was actually used. It was a little forceful from her…”

Mandy, 3rd year, Bio-Medical Sciences

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“Basically I brought a random back from Hive just before Easter and found out ‘too late’ that he had a micropenis. I had to give him a handjob with two fingers because it was too small for my whole hand to fit round. He wouldn’t leave in the morning so I told him that I was going to vomit so it forced him to leave.”

Izzy, 2nd year, Social Anthropology

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“I was in Opal in November and an actor from a big Netflix series was at the bar. We started talking and dancing, I couldn’t figure out if it was actually him, but it was. Then he invited me back to his hotel room and I went, and then things progressed from there.”

Emma, 2nd year, Maths

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“A guy from halls’ friend came up to visit him and the guy slept with one of my friends during pres and then slept with me later that night. I only found out two months later and now live with the other girl. I also got laid when I was wearing just a bin bag when I went to opal once.”

Tom, 3rd year, Economics

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“After snorting various substances I went back to halls with a girl and started having sex with her. I thought it was just getting really sweaty but it turns out that I had had a nose bleed that was dripping all over her. I decided to shove some toilet roll up my nose and carry on going.”

And then there’s this story…

“I was getting intimate with this guy at Leeds Festival and then the guy did a poo in the corner of the tent and just left.”