Jamie and Francis from Made In Chelsea were in Bristol SU

THIS IS NOT A DRILL


Most people know probably Jamie Laing and Francis Boulle off the popular reality TV show Made In Chelsea. Others might have heard of them through social media or from their various independent ventures, Candy Kittens and Yosshi Cider (both very tasty by the way). But we hope that some know them from their podcast, Private Parts.

A year and a half on from the start of the podcast, the two have decided to tour across the country, and chose the Bristol SU as one of the venues to perform.

The stage was split into the two socialites’ personalities. The right side was Jamie’s and looked like what you might find in a Stoke Bishop dorm room, a pile of sweets, a decorated thong alter and a side table full of spirits.

The other side was decorated in how you might imagine to find an Oxbridge professor’s study, a globe on a wooden side table, with perfectly stacked Yosshi Cider beneath and an old fashioned suitcase bookshelf in the corner, which we later found contained nothing other than a MENSA certificate.

Francis came on first, with his classically typical English solo small talk, covering the weather, mode of transport and untimely introductions, followed by the tutting of lack of punctuality of his co-star. But, we got our money’s worth within the first 15 minutes after Jamie entered late, displaying his actual private parts – yes, he was completely stark naked.

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We later asked the pair what inspires their podcast format, their answer being simply that “the format is, there is no format”, and it’s true. The whole show was a bounce back and forth between the two, one making fun of the other through the means of embarrassing stories, photos or Jamie’s mispronunciation of words when trying to argue against Francis’s intellect.

Jamie did admit to us in a private interview that the one thing that annoys him about Francis is that he is always right. In comparison, all Francis could fault Jamie for was that he poos with the door open.

Later we asked them more specifically about their experiences in Bristol. Both of them claimed a visit to the infamous Bunker Monday, but Jamie had a more distinct memory of visiting his ex-girlfriend, Tara Keeney, who lived in Badock, or as Jamie described it "the one that looked like a council block."

We then asked them a more serious question: What golden piece of advice would they give university students now?

This was Francis’ response: "We are not qualified to give advice, we went on a reality TV show and we have no place giving advice to university students with a lot of potential. But if I was to give advice, which I will, it would be don’t live for your parents dreams…just do what you want to do, because you’ll actually be much happier in the end."

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Jamie answered: "Business is paid in cash and experience, take the experience first and the cash will come later. Don’t do stuff for money."

In order to sum up the pair accurately, we thought it’d be best to let them describe themselves in three words. Francis simply stated "really, really fit" (fairs), whilst Jamie struggled to find his third adjective starting with "cute, cuddly".

They left us with some food for thought, something you may really have to rack your brains about during your next encounter with the sniffer dogs at Motion. They asked us the fundamental question: dogs or cats? Dogs, maybe loyal, but would a cat ever tell the police where your drugs are?