Brace yourself, we asked ChatGPT to roast each uni subject the results are brutal

It seems AI really can be used for the greater good, as has been demonstrated by how ChatGPT has absolutely roasted everyone’s Instagram profiles and it’s brutal opinions on different university sports societies. It’s clear that ChatGPT has no chill whatsoever – I’m honestly starting to wonder whether professors are using it to generate their essay feedback, at least it would explain the savage remarks. So why not use AI to its full potential and ask ChatGPT to roast each uni subject?

If you’re returning to university this September, you’ll perhaps have some idea of what to expect from ChatGPT’s attack on your degree, having probably received the non-AI generated roasting from your family and friends all summer. If you’rea fresher however, perhaps let these ChatGPT’s comments serve as a (not-so) gentle warning for what’s to come…

If shelling out £9.5k for a degree isn’t punishment enough and you’re a bit too eager to head back to uni this year – or if you just enjoy getting torn to shreds by an AI – then read on. We asked ChatGPT to roast each uni subject and boy, did it deliver.

Accounting and finance

“I bet your idea of a wild night is balancing a chequebook with a glass of room-temperature water. And let’s not forget, you’re basically the hero we never asked for—saving the world one audit at a time. You’re like Batman, but if Batman was obsessed with spreadsheets and tax returns.”

Not the “room-temperature water,” omg. Starting off strong, ChatGPT has made it clear it’s not here to play. But hey, even if that really does sum up your idea of a great time as an accounting and finance student, at least you might actually have a chance of paying off your student loan…

Archaeology

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“You’ve chosen a career where your main job is to dig up things that have been dead for thousands of years—kind of like your social life. I guess someone has to be the historian of dust and broken pottery.

“It’s cute how you’re basically an ancient treasure hunter, except the only treasure you’ll find is a slightly less broken piece of a 3,000-year-old vase. But hey, you do get to live the dream of every five-year-old playing in a sandbox—just with more student loans and fewer dinosaur bones.”

ChatGPT was perhaps a little too real with this one. If you do happen to be studying archaeology, I’m sorry, but at least ChatGPT has acknowledged that your degree does sound cool, even if only in theory, and at least has some job prospects? So, I guess that’s better than nothing!

Architecture

“So you’re studying architecture at university, huh? That’s amazing—if your dream is to spend the next five years building models that your professors will tear apart like Godzilla. It’s cute how you think you’re designing the next iconic building, but really, you’re just perfecting the art of sleep deprivation and surviving on coffee.

“You’ve basically signed up for a degree where ‘free time’ is a mythical concept, like unicorns or affordable housing. And let’s be honest, your entire university experience is just one long montage of you crying over AutoCAD crashes and praying your render doesn’t take 17 hours to complete.

“But hey, at least you’ll graduate with the ability to turn napkin sketches into ‘abstract’ concepts that no one but your professor will pretend to understand!”

ChatGPT had absolutely no mercy with this one, but apparently, you’re used to it if you’re an architecture student, and have probably already received a little too much “constructive criticism” from your tutors. Clearly, studying architecture is not for the weak.

Biochemistry

“You really chose the perfect combo of ‘I love science’ and ‘I hate myself’, didn’t you?

“It’s great how you’ve dedicated your university years to mixing chemicals in a lab, hoping one day you’ll create something other than a mess. You must love the thrill of explaining your research to people who have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about—because nothing screams ‘party starter’ like a detailed breakdown of enzyme kinetics.”

Absolutely devastating. Almost hit the nail on the head, but perhaps ChatGPT was even a little too optimistic with the “I love science,” most biochem students seem to have had that passion sucked out of them long ago.

Biology

“You must really love the idea of studying living organisms, even though your social life is on life support.

“It’s cute how you’re basically just a glorified zookeeper with a lab coat, spending your days categorising things that don’t even know you exist. And while everyone else is out there thriving, you’re busy staring at cells under a microscope like they’re going to text you back. But hey, at least you’ll have a deep understanding of ecosystems—perfect for when you’re explaining to your houseplants why they’re the only living things you have time to keep alive.”

Which biology student hurt ChatGPT? Because that burn was third degree. I’m not quite sure where ChatGPT got the idea of “glorified zookeeper,” but the “staring at cells under a microscope like they’re going to text you back” is lethal – wow.

Business and management

“You’re studying business management? That’s great—now you can learn all the tricks to become the world’s most overqualified paper pusher. It’s impressive how you’re gearing up to be the mastermind behind meetings that could have been emails, while perfecting the art of vague jargon and buzzwords.

“You must really love the idea of spending your life managing people who probably think your biggest skill is making spreadsheets look pretty. And let’s be honest, your greatest accomplishment will be surviving group projects where you’re the only one who actually reads the instructions. But hey, at least you’ll be an expert in corporate synergy—just don’t ask me to explain what that actually means.”

Asking ChatGPT to roast every uni subject, it’s obvious that it would go hard on business degrees. So as absolutely brutal as that roast was, at least ChatGPT understands the business management student’s struggle with group projects. It seems like it doesn’t get any better after uni so good luck guys, enjoy the continuation of group project chaos.

Chemistry

“It’s impressive how you’ve mastered the art of mixing dangerous substances while making your social life go up in smoke.

“You must really enjoy the thrill of explaining to people that you’re not a mad scientist, just someone who’s spent countless hours making sure no one accidentally dies from a poorly mixed solution. And let’s face it, while others are out having fun, you’re busy trying to balance reactions that don’t even get a ‘thank you’ from your lab equipment. But hey, at least you’ll be able to explain why your love life is a series of failed experiments.”

As valid as it is to roast a chemistry student for their lack of social life, ChatGPT did NOT hold back whatsoever with that final line. Honestly, which STEM student has been playing with ChatGPT’s feelings? Absolutely no chill, oh my.

Computer Science

“You must really love the idea of spending countless hours writing code that even your professors can’t decipher, all while your social skills slowly erode into ‘error 404: Not Found.’

“It’s cute how you think mastering algorithms will lead to a bright future, but let’s be real: Your biggest achievement will probably be convincing your family that hacking into their Wi-Fi doesn’t actually make you a cybercriminal. And don’t worry, while your friends are out making memories, you’ll be busy explaining to anyone who’ll listen why your latest project is ‘almost’ perfect—just like your excuses for why you never show up to parties.”

Again, ChatGPT really went for the social life dig there, but again, probably justifiable when it comes to computer science students. Otherwise, ChatGPT was relatively tame with this one, but perhaps computer science students don’t need much more of a roasting, they’re already going through it as it is…

Criminology

“It’s impressive how you’re dedicating yourself to understanding why people break the law, even though your most thrilling experience will probably be figuring out why your favourite coffee shop is out of almond milk. And let’s be honest, while everyone else is out there making tangible progress, you’re in lectures pretending that knowing the difference between a sociopath and a psychopath will actually get you a job. But hey, at least you’ll be an expert in profiling—just don’t be surprised if your biggest case ends up being solving the mystery of why you’re still in school.”

Ok, ChatGPT was absolutely on it with this roast, I love the specificity of the almond milk reference. Why does that make perfect sense? Who has been teaching ChatGPT these things?

Ecology

“You must really love the thrill of debating conservation strategies while the only thing getting ‘saved’ is your spot in the library. And let’s be honest, while everyone else is out enjoying nature, you’re stuck in lectures, trying to look passionate about data on species you’ll never actually see in the wild. But hey, at least you’ll be an expert in the balance of nature—just don’t be surprised if your future job involves explaining why the ecosystem you’re studying is more interesting than your paycheque.”

ChatGPT was so brutal with this one that it’s actually got me feeling sad for Eeology students. I hope you guys are okay, please don’t lose your passion for ecosystems. The library spot dis is scarily accurate though, why is that such an ecology student thing?

English

“You must really enjoy debating literary devices that hardly anyone outside academia cares about. And let’s be honest, while others are gearing up for practical careers, you’re buried in texts that make you look like you’re training for a lifelong role as a ‘fun fact’ dispenser at trivia nights. But hey, at least you’ll be an expert in metaphor—just don’t be surprised if your own life starts feeling like an epic tragedy.”

I mean although the “epic tragedy” was perhaps a little bit uncalled for, ChatGPT was entirely wrong for this one. Every English student will have already heard the careers prospects “concern” a hundred times, so this isn’t exactly new, and every English student does love a “trivia night” so I’d say they got off lightly here…

Fine arts

“While others are building practical careers, you’re perfecting techniques that could turn your living room into a gallery of ‘what was that supposed to be?’ But hey, at least you’ll be an expert in artistic vision—just don’t be surprised if your future job ends up being more about explaining your art than actually selling it”

Again, as savage as this is, this burn is nothing a fine arts student hasn’t heard before. Once again, fine arts students seem to remain relatively unscathed by ChatGPT, perhaps the existence of AI art is already enough of an insult to these students.

Geography

“It’s almost admirable how you can get lost in the details of tectonic plates while overlooking the fact that knowing the location of every mountain range doesn’t exactly land you a high-paying job. Just don’t be surprised if your biggest achievement becomes finding the best way to explain why you’re still living at home with your parents.”

Too real with the “still living at home with your parents” – ouch!

History

“Immersing yourself in history is impressive—if your goal is to spend years unravelling the issues of dead people while your own future becomes as dusty as the archives you dig through. It’s almost commendable how you can get lost in centuries-old conflicts yet overlook the fact that ‘expert in ancient trivia’ isn’t exactly in high demand. Just don’t be surprised if your biggest find is how to turn a love for the past into a present-day unemployment statistic.”

I mean even if your unemployed, at least you’re still useful in pub quizzes, and that’s something!

History of art

“Studying the history of art, huh? That’s impressive—if your goal is to become an expert in obscure movements while your social life revolves around museum visits and coffee shop debates. It’s great that you’re tracing old brushstrokes, though your biggest achievement might be convincing friends that your art lectures are thrilling.

“You must love debating Monet versus Van Gogh, all while flaunting overpriced art-themed tote bags. Just don’t be surprised if your career involves more reminiscing about the past than shaping the future of art.”

While the tote bag shade was very on point, ChatGPT was perhaps a little too kind with this roast in assuming history of art students will automatically bag a career in the art world. Once again, humanities students seem to be getting off pretty lightly from ChatGPT’s roasting.

Law

“Studying law is great if your dream is to spend every waking moment buried in legal texts and stressed out of your mind. It’s impressive how you’re mastering the art of arguing about the minutiae of the law while your stress levels reach new heights. Just don’t be surprised if your biggest skill becomes managing anxiety rather than courtroom victories.”

This isn’t even too much of a roast to be honest, just facts. All law students, seem to know what they’re getting themselves in to and most of them seem to thrive off stress. Any law student would probably recover from this roast in an instant and would probably be able to quickly come up with a devastating comeback.

Mathematics

“It’s astonishing how you’re diving into equations so complex, they probably come with their own set of emotional baggage. Just don’t be surprised if your greatest achievement becomes deciphering algorithms while your social life remains as non-existent as a solution to the Riemann Hypothesis. And remember, while you’re perfecting the art of solving problems no one else cares about, your most significant relationship might end up being with your 3D graphing calculator.”

I have no idea what the Riemann Hypothesis is but I do know that this was an absolutely brutal roast from ChatGPT. They may have leaned a little too far into the “single maths student” stereotype, but I mean, it’s a stereotype for a reason, right?

Medicine

“It’s admirable how you’re dedicating yourself to memorising every disease known to humanity, but just don’t be surprised if your biggest diagnosis ends up being your own chronic exhaustion. While you’re mastering the art of keeping others alive, your own life might just become a case study in burnout.”

Once again, this roast seems to rouse more concern for medicine students than it does to drag them and probably for good reason. As ChatGPT’s roast sounds more like a cry for help, consider it a reminder to check in with yourself or on your med student friends (assuming they have a life outside their course…).

Asking ChatGPT to roast each uni subject

Music

“Impressive how you’re dedicating yourself to mastering an art form, even though your most significant achievement might be getting through a recital without losing your audience’s attention. Just don’t be surprised if your greatest hit ends up being the playlist you use to drown out the sound of student loan debt.”

Brutal. I’m going to need the link to that playlist.

Philosophy

“So, you’re studying philosophy? That’s fantastic—if your dream is to spend years contemplating the meaning of life while your career prospects remain as abstract as your thesis. It’s impressive how you’re dedicating yourself to pondering existential questions, even though your biggest achievement might be convincing people that debating ethics in a coffee shop is a legitimate job skill. Just don’t be surprised if your most significant contribution ends up being the art of overthinking your way into endless job interviews.”

A very valid roast, but no harsher than the roasts that philosophy students have probably already received at every family function. “The art of overthinking” should be the tagline to a philosophy degree, and the “endless job interviews” is just a fact. All things considered, this is an accurate but gentle roasting from ChatGPT.

Physics

“Don’t be surprised if your most significant skill ends up being calculating the velocity at which you’re losing touch with reality.”

Short but savage, this burn really just sums up the average physics student experience.

Politics

“Studying politics? Perfect for someone who enjoys endless debates with little to show for it. It’s almost impressive how you can dive deep into theories and power dynamics while remaining completely out of touch with the world around you. But don’t be surprised if your biggest political achievement is convincing yourself that your hot takes on policy will ever make a real impact.”

Honestly, I feel like politics students need to hear this one… It’s a little brutal but I’m sure they can handle it.

Psychology

“Studying psychology is perfect—if your ambition is to dive into everyone else’s issues while your own mental health turns into the most intriguing case study of all. It’s impressive how you’re mastering the art of understanding the human mind, even though your biggest achievement might be deciphering why you’re still stressed out despite knowing all the coping mechanisms.

“You must really enjoy the thrill of examining psychological theories while your most significant skill ends up being overanalysing every interaction you have. Just don’t be surprised if your greatest insight ends up being the realisation that diagnosing yourself with every disorder you study is not a valid career path.”

I’m speechless. This ChatGPT roast of the psychology uni subject may have crossed a line because oh my goodness, it did not hold back one bit.

Theatre

“You must really enjoy the thrill of turning every conversation into a soliloquy while your most significant skill ends up being the ability to make your friends endure endless rehearsals and performances. Just don’t be surprised if your greatest role ends up being the one you play in your own “I didn’t get the part” sob story.”

A ruthless reality-check for the theatre students out there. Oof.

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