Every character from Stranger Things ranked by how powerful they actually are

Just so you know who you’d want in your Dungeons & Dragons party

2 years ago

One of the reasons why Stranger Things is so great because it throws a lot of mostly ordinary people (obviously, Eleven excluded) up against the extraordinary. That’s not to say they’re not capable, just that they’re not overflowing with big powers and mythical skills. But what if the Stranger Things characters were ranked by their powers? Their special skills? What they’re actually bringing to the table? Here is a power ranking of all the major characters of Stranger Things, meticulously listed and ordered by how powerful they actually are. Physically powerful and / or intellectually powerful. You know, so you can see who you’d want to main on Dungeons & Dragons.

17. Will

A very sickly boy. Always got a worried face on him. There’s no way he could fight any Upside Down monster on his own – a common cold would be enough to wipe him out at this point.

16. Argyle

Too stoned to be of any use to anyone.

15. Robin

An icon but not one rolling in special skills. Scoops Ahoy shop skills aren’t going to be much use against the Mind Flayer, I fear.

14. Jonathan

See Argyle, only a bit more powerful because he’s been dealing with the Upside Down’s spawn for longer. Mopes about too much, and now he’s been toking on the wacky baccy he’s not exactly setting the Stranger Things power ranking alight. The only thing he’s setting alight is the end of his doobie!

13. Joyce

Joyce’s biggest asset is her motherly nature, which turns into an unshakeable determination when her children are in trouble. She doesn’t have much physical prowess, but she’s brave and loyal and would do anything to protect who she loves. Don’t underestimate the power of love!

12. Nancy

Nancy’s skills come from her knack for being Hawkins’ very own Nancy Drew. It’s not just her first name she has in common with the pesky detective! Nancy is a dirt digger, a knowledge finder, a scoop searcher and a news hound. Couldn’t beat you in a fist fight but has the power to uncover your darkest secrets and plaster them all over the Hawkins Post.

11. Mike

A little scrawny to be any real brawn, but Mike is scrappy. A wily weasel. Good at evading, not on Dustin’s level of smart but a big knowledge. Nerdy enough to beat others on this Stranger Things power ranking, but not quite strong enough to blast his way into the top 10.

10. Lucas

Easily the most physically strong out of all the kids – the most athletic and a lot of bravery on his side too. Lucas’ flaw is he’s susceptible to peer pressure. Who cares about being cool when you get to hang out with Max THEE Mayfield!

9. Eddie

An encyclopaedic knowledge of D&D AND drugs. I imagine Eddie as some kind of powerful merchant, dishing out potions and medicines to all players. A powerful king in his own right – but behind the scenes.

8. Dustin

The most ingenious of all the Stranger Things kids on this power ranking, if we’re being real. Not the fastest, not the strongest – but a natural leader and brilliant plan maker. A powerful ally and player.

7. Max

Like, one of the only people with the inner strength to beat Vecna? Quite wow, really! On top of that, she’s full of bravery and a skilled gamer. Wise beyond her years. A force to be reckoned with and my fave Stranger Things character. End of!

6. Erica

A FORCE TO BE RECKONED WITH! The Mind Flayer is quaking.

5. Steve

Sometimes you just need a bit of brawn instead of brain. And Steve is all brawn. I very much wish he was my boyfriend.

4. Brenner

He might be a borderline pensioner, but Brenner has power in his status. He has a full lab at his disposal, henchmen, scientists, money, resources! A lot of people should be scared.

3. Hopper

Hopper is a brick shithouse. He is made of stone, honestly. He’s faced off against BRUTES and lived to tell the tale and survived a Russian prison from hell. Don’t fuck with him!

2. Murray

Season four of Stranger Things has proved, in case you were in any doubt, that the most character on this ranking with the most power (that isn’t telekinesis) is Murray Bauman. Language skills, ingenious knowledge, great at coming up with dangerous plots, a good actor AND fighting skills. What an ally!

1. Eleven

I mean, come on! Who El-se

Stranger Things is available on Netflix now. For all the latest Netflix news, drops, quizzes and memes like The Holy Church of Netflix on Facebook.