Maeva is single-handedly saving Made in Chelsea, and we don’t deserve her

Her back must really hurt from carrying this show


Last year, I wrote a piece titled RIP Made in Chelsea (2011-2021): It was fun, but it’s time to call it a day now – and I’d like to take it back for one reason and one reason only, Maeva D’Ascanio. The entire premise of the show was falling apart, but she has swooped in and saved it, and I can be nothing but thankful.

In the recent years, Made in Chelsea has been poor. It’s dragged its feet into season 674, with very little plot, new cast members who are an overall snooze fest and drama that nobody cared about for one single second. But our French queen brings what season one to seven would have been proud of – great storylines, big fights and incredible off-the-cuff insults.

Honestly, I think Maeva is art. The way she articulates herself, stares drama in the face and calls it a viper, she has a comeback for everything, and manages to do all this without a hair out of place. When I grow up, I want to be Maeva (minus the wanting to marry James Taylor bit).

Maeva D'Ascanio in Made in Chelsea

via E4

Maeva’s insults get better every single time

Name me an animal that Maeva hasn’t likened a fellow Made in Chelsea cast member to. Last season she called Digby a frog for no apparent reason, and this season she’s called Verity a viper AND a rat. They just roll off her tongue! These are the type of insults you think up in the shower, the night after you’ve had an argument, and wish you had thought of before. Get me enrolled into the Maeva School of Insults, please!

She is the only person on this show who when I see come onto the screen, I instantly know it’s about to go down

via E4

Picture the scene: It’s 9pm on a Monday, you’re sat down on the sofa after a long, hard first day of the working week. Up on the screen pops “coming up” on Made in Chelsea and you see Maeva, in a nighttime scene with a glass of prosecco in hand and her signature scowl on her face. You just KNOW it’s about to go off, don’t you?

She deserves a special shoutout for how she dealt with the proposal situation

Maeva gives us raw emotion and savagery all at once, and that is a talent not many people possess. I’ve seen her laugh, cry and explode in anger all in one episode. But one moment that really solidified how much of a powerful and strong person Maeva truly is, was the James Taylor proposal saga.

So, we all know Maeva is beyond desperate for James to propose. He won’t, so she took matters into her own hands and proposed to him. He said no, and that “not in a million years” would he have accepted a proposal from her.

via E4

She was truly heartbroken, but there’s one thing Maeva D’Ascanio never is – defeated. She spoke upstairs with Emily and Ruby, whilst the party continued downstairs, and the girls asked her if she would like to stay up in her bedroom for the evening after what happened. Maeva said she wanted to “own” what had happened, and went downstairs to join everyone else with her head held high. Get! It!

Sorry, I will never forget when she just asked Miles to have sex with her

Make James jealous quick? Shag Miles. Maeva, nothing but respect.

Episodes of Made in Chelsea are available on All4 now

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