The Apprentice week three power ranking: The non-alcoholic task ruined dry January
Forget Vodify and just pass me the vodka
Week three of The Apprentice has finally arrived – not with a bang, but with the salty or peppery taste of an overwhelmingly peach flavoured non-alcoholic beverage. Yet again, neither one of these products seemed particularly appetising – and the winner was the lesser of two evils. The biggest evil of this episode was the loss of two or reality TV’s current faves in one almighty crushing blow. Must we continue this season without Shama? How do we go on without our dramatic Barb, okcurrr? Here’s our official power ranking for week three of The Apprentice:
Proof you never trust anyone who is into crystal culture. Absolutely garbage project manager and managed to nail the feat of creating a spicy drink that wasn’t spicy. Her pitch felt like it was in slow motion. Aldi Jodie Comer should have been clutching her crystals in that taxi home.
I will miss the camp flair that Navid brought to the boardroom, but I think it was fair to say he was quite a useless component this week. Spent a long time in that apron in the drinks making session and still failed to make it taste of anything worthwhile.
Very, very, VERY bad vibes going on with this one. I do not trust her. Not even for a second. If she gave me a drink I would throw it nervously down the drain.
Honestly? Pure evil. The way she shouted at the lads in the drink mixing session was outrageous! I would not be spoken to like that by anyone. You’re mixing up a drink, Harpreet, can we start communicating like a normal person and not like someone on the brink of life and death?
Didn’t do a single thing this week besides stand sheepishly behind Sophie as she delivered the world’s slowest pitch to a group of tepid investors. Thanks, Stephanie!
The high priestess of Bouji Cruises did try and deter the team from the spice flavour route, which was admirable, but she ended up being part of Sophie’s sinking ship and I can’t rank our Kathryn any higher.
Not a soul on this earth could predict Nick winning this week, because he’s been absolutely pigging useless for the last few weeks and I’ve got no clue how he managed it. His days remain numbered, but he did do better than anticipated.
I do like Alex, but this was a week where the only thing he did was get shouted at by Harpreet. Even though, actually, he was right. They should have got another drink mix going with a bit less salt in to test. Because when Vodify emerged, guess what it tasted like? SALT.
Our king is clawing his way back I fear. So likeable. Don’t know what he did this week but enjoyed his presence anyway.
Aaron managed a better showing this week, because he left Wiffy the Wizard and his turd toothbrush in the bog where they belong. Made the very good point that you literally can’t recreate the taste of vodka. And to that, I would like to say… Why the fuck would you want to?
Not our Akshay crawling his way up the ranking to FOURTH! Fourth!!! But you know what, he really deserved it. He made sales, but most importantly he made me laugh. When he told Sophie he’d never work with her I could have kissed him. Maybe I still will.
Hate to say it because she has the sort of Tory demeanour that usually makes me run for the hills, but Francesca is yet to put a foot wrong. Three weeks in and she’s not been on the losing team once, and has consistently been quite wise and resourceful. Probably going to win the series.
Has no right being this high up The Apprentice week three power ranking, because objectively, Amy was at fault for pretty much every issue that went wrong for Crafted and Spiced. BUT… She’s a gay icon. She’s the Princess Diana of The Apprentice. She’s an icon, she’s a legend and she IS the moment. Plus she tweeted this:
Since it’s the last week she can feature on the power ranking, week three of The Apprentice still belonged to our Shama. She has been nothing but iconic from start to finish, won the nation over with her vibe and rationale and even managed to walk out on her own terms with her head held high. Such a shame she couldn’t get to the final, but have to stan a queen who knows to put her health and herself first. So much love to Shama
Featured image courtesy of BBC.
Catch up on all of the candidates in the power ranking from The Apprentice 2022 by rewatching the episode on BBC iPlayer.
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