Rating the Spotify Wrapped ‘Top Tracks of 2021’ from elite to trash

Some just don’t even deserve a spot


It’s that time of the year again! Finally Spotify Wrapped has dropped, and not only will it tell you all about how basic your music taste is, but also everyone else’s too. Cheers! Here’s to a day of scrolling through everyone else’s annoying Spotify screenshots – and then inevitably posting your own and being upset that no one actually cares about yours either.

The Spotify Wrapped “Top Tracks of 2021 UK” include the 50 most streamed songs in the UK over the past year. Some of them, granted, are bangers – but frankly some of them don’t even deserve your time of day. With that in mind, we’ve developed five highly accurate categories to rate every song from elite to trash. The categories are as follows:

a) Elite – Basically just an all-round tune. It’s got the vibes and has every right to a spot on this list. It made 2021 better – and that’s really saying something.

b) Banger – Definitely a groovy tune but not one to last the ages. Either way you’ll find me dancing.

c) Good, but I only know this from TikTok – TikTok songs have absolutely dominated the charts this year. Who needs a record deal these days when you can just go viral instead?

d) Average – It’s a song that does its job. Need I say more?

e) Trash – Honestly how these songs were so popular this year is a mystery. I don’t rate them and I absolutely don’t want to hear them again – this year or ever.

So here goes, Spotify Wrapped top tracks 2021.

Elite

  1. Good 4 u – Olivia Rodrigo
  2. Drivers license – Olivia Rodrigo
  3. Kiss Me More (ft. SZA) – Doja Cat
  4. Blinding Lights – The Weeknd
  5. Peaches – Justin Bieber
  6. Mr. Brightside – The Killers
  7. INDUSTRY BABY (ft. Jack Harlow) – Lil Nas X
  8. Easy On Me – Adele
  9. Watermelon Sugar – Harry Styles
  10. Good Days – SZA

Maybe I’ve been a bit generous to Olivia Rodrigo here, but her songs genuinely spoke for a NATION. If you didn’t relate to the lyrics, well then you really missed out – they hit hard. Obviously Mr. Brightside bags a spot on the elite list – it’s a timeless tune and I’ll leave it at that.

Banger

  1. Stay – The Kid LAROI & Justin Bieber
  2. WITHOUT YOU – The Kid LAROI
  3. Deja vu – Olivia Rodrigo
  4. Don’t Play – Anne Marie, KSI & Digital Farm Animals
  5. I WANNA BE YOUR SLAVE – Måneskin
  6. Traitor – Olivia Rodrigo
  7. Someone You Loved – Lewis Capaldi
  8. Good Without – Mimi Webb
  9. Remember – Becky Hill & David Guetta
  10. Cold Heart PNAU Remix – Elton John, Dua Lipa & PNAU

Look, not every song could bag a top spot. You may think some songs on this list have been done hard by, and maybe they have. Either way, these songs are all still top class. Just not top, of the class.

I only know this from TikTok

  1. MONTERO (Call Me By Your Name) – Lil Nas X
  2. Levitating (ft. DaBaby) – Dua Lipa
  3. Body (Remix) – Tion Wayne & Russ Millions
  4. Beggin’ – Måneskin
  5. Mood (ft. iann dior) – 24kGoldn & iann dior
  6. Astronaut In The Ocean – Masked Wolf
  7. Streets – Doja Cat
  8. What You Know Bout Love – Pop Smoke
  9. Whoopty – CJ
  10. Loading – Central Cee

You may not actually recognise any of these songs until you play them out loud. But, they all bring back fond memories of cringey dances and for that they will always have a special place in our hearts.

Average

  1. Bad Habits – Ed Sheeran
  2. Head & Heart (ft. MNEK) – Joel Corry
  3. Friday (ft. Mufasa & Hypeman) – Riton & Nightcrawlers
  4. Calling My Phone – Lil Tjay & 6LACK
  5. Your Love (9PM) – ATB, Topic & A7S
  6. Heartbreak Anthem – David Guetta & Little Mix
  7. Black Magic – Jonasu
  8. Save Your Tears – The Weeknd
  9. Little Bit of Love – Tom Grennan
  10. RAPSTAR – Polo G

These songs all had potential – but frankly they fell short in some way. Either too repetitive or just boring, they shouldn’t get a high rating from you either.

Trash

  1. Ferrari Horses – D-Block Europe & RAYE
  2. Heat Waves – Glass Animals
  3. The Business – Tiësto
  4. BED – Joel Corry, RAYE & David Guetta
  5. Shivers – Ed Sheeran
  6. Latest Trends – A1 x J1
  7. Paradise (ft. Dermot Kennedy) – MEDUZA
  8. Clash (ft. Stormzy) – Dave
  9. Lemonade (ft. Gunna, Don Toliver & NAV) – Internet Money
  10. Holiday – KSI

It’s the new eighth wonder of the world – how any of these songs made it to the top charts this year. Hopefully this is the last you’ll see of them and I’m truly praying that we’ll never have to hear them again. Especially Ferrari Horses.

Related stories recommended by this writer:

Nine songs you forgot that are going to be lurking in your Spotify Wrapped 2021

• Your Spotify Wrapped may be tragic but these 25 memes about it sure aren’t

You can now get an official rating of how tragic your Spotify truly is